The Demoiselles

Naturally, if you’re a regular follower of The Demoiselles, you know that we preach self-love as gospel. Accepting yourself, accepting your “flaws” and accepting your insecurities… They’re all part of our master plan to ensure that you enjoy your life, as you, as thoroughly as possible.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the bond between women. Particularly women who are coming around to this self-love, and their relationships with each other.

There’s a song by Kate Nash that always comes to my mind when I get to talking with my group of close girlfriends. It’s called “We Get On“, and it’s fabulous… But there’s one particular part of the song that I get especially empowered by:

So I went to that party and everyone
They were kind of art-y
And I was wearing this dress
Because I wanted to impress
But I wasn’t sure if I looked my best
‘Cause I was so nervous
But I carried on regardless
Strutting through each room trying to find you

And when I saw you kissing that girl
My heart, it shattered
And my eyes, they watered
And when I tried to speak, I stuttered…

And my friends were like “Whatever!
You’ll find someone better!
His eyes were way too close together!
And we never even liked him from the start!
And now he’s with that tart
And I heard she’s done some really nasty stuff
Down in the park with Michael
He said she’s easy
And if your guy’s with someone that’s sleazy
Then he ain’t worth your time
‘Cause you deserve a real nice guy!”

So I proceeded to get drunk and to cry
And lock myself in the toilets for the entire night

The bold portion of the song is where I start to stand more straight, proverbially linking arms with my sisters, and man… That is awesome!

But I got to thinking – and you know that can never be good.

Do we, as women, bond together in self-love… by using those struggling with self-love as targets?

Take this example: Taylor Swift vs. Lady Gaga. Oh, if you’re a fan, you know. There are photos like this all over the internet:

Rivalry is all well and good – I’m into the idea of playful competition. But! Those who I am closest to are naturally Lady Gaga fans because, well, she’s Lady Gaga. I’ve found that women are strengthened by bonding over The Gaga, but in turn, poor 20 year old Taylor Swift has quickly become the target for the Gaga Army.

“Ew, dude. She looks like someone stepped on her face.”

“Taylor makes a hot blow up doll.”

“No, I will never stop wanting to punch little TayTay in her smug, squinty mug.”

Do you think that if any of these women (yes, women said these things) saw Ms. Swift crying in a bathroom, they’d stop? Sure they would! Of course they would. They would reclaim their sisterhood instincts and rush to the aid of a fallen lady. I think most women would do this in any situation.

So why do we allow ourselves to attack the physical appearance of one another in the first place? Perhaps we need to check ourselves – our society has put such a heavy weight on physical beauty that we, as a country (and especially as a gender) have latched onto the ability to break it down. How do we know how to do it so well? Because we all do it to each other.

Self-love aficionado, Gala Darling has established February 2010 as “Radical Self-Love Month“, and not only do we encourage you to participate (use the Twitter tag #radicalselflove), but consider including something in this idea that addresses the way we subconsciously defend ourselves or people we love.

Let’s stop propagating the unrealistic media standards by degrading those who we’re jealous of, upset with, or just plain don’t like.

Someone pissed you off? Tell them why, don’t tell your BFF about how nasty her skin is.

That girl stole your dude? Leave her body mass out of it, and just focus on yourself.

There are plenty of ways to express and/or deal with frustrations – don’t bring your fellow sisters down in the process. You’re only as strong as your weakest teammate, and we’re all in this together.

How will you check yourself?

As for me, I hope to teach myself how to calm down to the point where I can isolate exactly why I’m upset. I find that this is best accomplished (for me) by either talking it out with someone with a level head/objective perspective (Jennifer is great for this!). If no one’s available to talk me off the edge, I’ll just start up a new Word document and write down every single tidbit of the situation that’s upsetting me – from the scalding insults to the emotional breakdowns… Every single piece goes into that word document. Then, once it’s done, I’ll re-read it and typically I’ll see exactly how acidic, bitter and cruel the defensive mind can be. Sometimes, just the writing process itself allows you to see how being upset affects your judgment when talking about others. After that, I know exactly what my defensive mind will try to say in the heat of the moment, and I’ll be able to restrain and retrain my mind to abandon those unnecessary evils.

For more excellent reading on the processes of self-love,
please, please check out the following websites:

Already Pretty
Medicinal Marzipan
Rabbit Writes
Every Body is Beautiful
Your Wishcake

Here at the Demoiselles, we talk a lot about body image, and more specifically, about self-image.  The biggest goal of this website (and its owners) is to promote your own acceptance of YOU, all the way from your wide hips to your tiniest bits, no matter what the media thinks, or what the guy you really, really want to make out with says about it.

At the same time, it would be silly of us to ignore the media, and that guy (or girl) you think is cute, because the reality is that society’s opinions matter.  Even the strongest of us can’t help but be affected by them, because no matter where we go, we’re bombarded by standards and opinions that aren’t our own.  We’d be crazy not to at least take them into consideration – even if it’s just so we can fly in the face of them.

While we’ve talked about the media – and even called it out on its bullshit, occasionally – that’s not the only thing we look to when we’re deciding what to wear, or whether or asses are too big or our shoulders too small.  We start looking around at the people that we see every day, the people we want to impress…the people we want to make out with, and (we hope) want to make out with us.

What does the punky guy you flirt with in math class think of your kinky hair?  Does the uber-feminist you’ve been eyeing think your lipstick is a sign of patriarchal subservience?  Does anyone really think your ass looks fat in those jeans…and if they do, do they kind of like that look?

What do the people in your life – the ones that are attracted to the female persuasion – think about women, and beauty, and sex appeal?

We aim to find out, so we’re charging you with a mission:

Send us your straight guys, your gay women, all of your friends-who-like girls.  We want to know what they’re attracted to, and what they hate about the industry that we’re constantly exposed to.
What do they think about body image standards in the media?
Do they like makeup?
Is back fat really a big deal?
What do they wish us fashion girls would stop doing, or wearing, or focusing on?
What do they find just plain ridiculous?

…and before they comment, make sure they’re being honest.  Even if it starts a battle, we’d rather see someone truthfully say they aren’t attracted to fat women – or thin women – than try to be PC about it.  No matter how harsh the comment, we’ll let it through, as long as it’s honest and on-topic.

So let’s unravel the mystery: email this link, drop it on Facebook, Stumble or tweet it – I don’t care.  Just gather your friends, and tell them to bring it on!

It didn’t take long for me to react to the following photos, originally published in “Curves Ahead,” an editorial from the January issue of V Magazine (also called “the size issue”).

My reaction was, in short:

Do I see back fat?  Sexy back fat?

And does that mean I could have sexy back fat?

And if it does mean I could have sexy back fat, then does it mean I could convince others that their love handles can be sexy*, or that their breasts sag like a womans and less like a farm animals?  (You have no idea how often I hear older women compare their breasts to udders.  What is wrong with you, ladies?)

Yeah, some of these photos are a little overly edited, with extra smooth skin, no rolls overlapping the garments (which, if you’re heavy yourself, you know that blue swimsuit below must have done).  Despite that, and despite my fear that this shoot will cause people to start saying that fat equals “a real woman” – which makes skinny equal what, exactly? – I still love this shoot.

Because this shoot inspired me to get up, strip out of my clothes, and look in the mirror…and appreciate what I saw.

Back fat and all.

—

Here are a few more shots from the editorial.

When you look at these, what’s the first thing you see?

Is it back fat, big hips, pretty small breasts, or are you more focused on the styling of these models?

What do you think about this shoot, and V Magazine’s decision to use “big, little, pint-size [and] plus-size” models in their January 2010 issue?

*One thing I’ve noticed: “skinny girls” are way more likely to complain about love handles.  I’m not discounting you, beauties!  I know you’ve got your insecurities, too.

Images via Refinery29.com.

Jaka Merriman, a friend and valued commenter, takes us through the “saga” of her hair color, and ends up with a new perspective on self-love.

Chelsea Rae of Pink Rock Candy also saw the Crystal Renn/Jaquelyn Jablonski photoshoot – but she saw it surrounded by hate-mongering comments towards women’s bodies. Here’s her take on the whole shebang.

Have you heard of Medicinal Marzipan? No? Well, go get yourself some fresh coffee or tea, grab a muffin or some string cheese, and get settled – this blog is a wealth of positivity. Some gems?

• Learning to Love Yourself, Even When You Feel Awful
• Learning To Love Your Body, Regardless of Your Size
• A Body Recovered

We only wish she didn’t have partial feeds! But we love her anyway.

Have a great weekend!

Sometimes, we get reduced to a blubbering pile of Demoiselle after coming across something truly thought-provoking. Honestly, this doesn’t happen all too often in the land of Fashion-&-Body-Image, but every so often we find a jewel that really makes us think.

Plus-sized model, Crystal Renn, and Spring 2010 Fashion Week darling Jacquelyn Jablonski faced off before the camera of ultra-photographer, Terry Richardson, for the January Issue of V Magazine (which hits newsstands on January 14).

Renn has been getting some media attention for her size as of late, having just released a book documenting her experience as both a “regular”-sized model and her transformation into a plus-sized model. The book is called Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves.

Here, she faces frames with an average-sized runway model, Jablonski, who is just 17 but managed to book over 50 runway shows last season. The girls are both wearing super-luxe, high fashion duds from design houses such as Dolce & Gabbana, Proenza Schouler, and Versace.

What do you think of this unique photoshoot?

While I can’t deny that my inner-chubby-girl is “rah-rah“-ing from the rooftops, I have to take a step back and really look at this shoot – I encourage you to do the same.

Before starting off with the “____ looks better than ___”s, let’s examine the concept at play – One size fits all. The originating magazine, V, claims that “[The photographer,] Terry Richardson finds that Spring’s most sizzling looks can work on any figure.”

Is that what’s really going on here? Maybe. But regardless of the intention, there are several ideas at play. I, for one, applaud this kind of display and – while there’s definitely a difference of *ahem* signals being sent by each of the models, I love that Crystal Renn comes off as a saucy saucepot vixenator who looks like she could eat you, and your Balenciaga boots, too. Jablonski? She looks great, as well – but a completely different type of “great”. The important idea here is that, aside from the fact that they shouldn’t be compared to each other, they really can’t.

I’d like to carry on in my life resting assured that the will behind this photoshoot wasn’t aiming to over-sexualize curvy women, but instead liberate them and tell them: Look at hot as you want, regardless of what size you are.

Then again, there are folks out there who are eager to find something wrong here. For instance, this Newsweek article on the shoot has both Jen and me pretty disgusted. Look at this:

The spreads featured Renn and a skinnier counterpart in nearly identical clothing and poses. Renn looked awesome and, frankly, outdid her skinnier counterpart in a number of the photos. [...] Then, I did a little research, and it suddenly dawned on me: Renn is by no means plus size. While she is admittedly larger than the average model, Renn’s body does not represent the rest of us. In fact, she has dimensions that most American women would envy: a 31-inch waist, which turns out to be six inches smaller than that of the average American woman, according to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Not to mention  that at 5 feet 9, she’s about a half foot taller than the average American woman as well.

…So they’re officially invalidating the photoshoot strictly because Renn is not a visual example of what we expect to see when we hear “plus sized”? So every body is beautiful, as long as every body is visible represented? Come on – this is nitpicking to the point of nonsensical complaining. Do women with 31 inch waists have it easier? Should they be less represented? Newsweek, we are disappointed.

Oh, and to the comment that “Renn’s body doesn’t represent the rest of us” – well, guess what. She also doesn’t represent…

• Naturally thin women
• Black women
• Short women
• Women with clef palettes
• Anemic women
• … I could go on.

We have to remember that, just because our body type is not represented, it does not mean that there’s no representation occurring at all. Steps forward may not always be in your immediate direction, but forward is forward!

First of all, the average female waist size as referenced by the CDC is 37 inches?  Holy crap. Ladies, please visit Getting Healthy and work on that – stat.

On to the photos: When I first saw this shoot, my reaction was blase.  As I told Elle, I already know that women with boobs and booty can look just as amazing in designer clothing as straight-figured women, so there was little shock coming from my direction.  At the same time, I was a little disappointed that the poses each of the models did were merely similar to each other – I wish they’d either been exactly the same, or totally different.  Why?  Because I worry that the photos V chose to represent each of these models will further one of the stereotypes our society has about plus-sized women: that their only claim to beauty is sheer sex appeal.

Don’t get me wrong: I love the way Renn showed off these designs.  She oozes confidence, and pulls off each outfit with an effortlessness that Jablonski just…doesn’t.  (In my opinion, that has more to do with the models’ ability to do print work rather than their size – Jablonski is known for runway, so this isn’t a huge surprise to me.)  My fear is that the public will compare these women’s interpretations of each pose – as they’re expected to – and come away thinking that Renn’s poses were “a sexy version” of Jablonski’s.  And if people choose to focus on that, instead of Renn’s ability to carry the designs on her larger frame, the point will be lost.  Instead of One Size Fits All – plus size girls can rock designer duds just as hard as skinny models – the idea will morph into One Size Fits All…as long as the plus-size model is overtly sexy. Like Elle says, you can’t actively compare the two – you just have to know that both of them work.

But if the public doesn’t try to box these two models in – furthering the idea that having breasts and a butt mean you have to be overtly sexy, and not having them makes you androgynous or “edgy” – then this could be another step forward in opening up the fashion world, along with social consciousness, to a whole new array of different body types and beauties.  We could begin to see more designer garments on models with 30-something-inch waists, more “edgy” looks and poses from each and every body type, and more perceptions shattered about what “beauty” and “sexy” really are.

The Happy Holidays Edition

Edited by Retrochick

Well, I suppose I shall start this weeks Links à la Mode with this:

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m sure visions of sugar plums are dancing in everyone’s heads as they trim the tree and sup mulled wine in preparation for tomorrows frivolities. All too soon it’ll all be over and brain power sapped from too many TV Christmas Specials you’ll be wanting some mental sustenance, and that’s where we come in.

Essentially that’s a long winded way of me saying that what follows are some lovely links to keep you busy over the Christmas period.

M.I.S.S and JeweleryWhore have D.IY ideas to keep your mind and body occupied, ID Style and Little Miss Make Up show you how to ramp up the glamour in your make up bag, whilst Daily Diva Dish and The Working Wardrobe will help you plan what to wear for New Years Eve and that dreaded day you return to work.

If you run out of entertainment here then you should always check out the full Links à la Mode thread for more yummy fashion goodness.

I hope you all have a fantastic holiday and that Santa brings you everything you asked for!

Links à la Mode : December 24th

• Alice in Stilettos – Don’t Be Victimized By Fashion
• DailyDivaDish – New Year’s Eve Fashion: Make an entrance without breaking the bank. Includes 2 looks + DIY ideas.
• Fashion X K8 – Bringing attention to an essay of literary criticism that provides the proper vocabulary with which we can converse about a new fashion paradigm.
• Fasshonaburu – An interview with Liu Wen, the first Asian model to strut her stuff on the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show catwalk.
• Idiosyncratic Style – Wham GLAM Thank You Ma’am – Indulge in a little glamour for the holidays.
• Jewelry Whore – HUGE Roundup of DIY Christmas Present Ideas! It’s not too late to make some fabulous jewelry for Christmas presents!
• kaKofonie Of si(gh)lenS – You’re only a couple clicks and a few stitches away from owning your own one-of-a-kind designer piece with free patterns from SHOWstudio
• La Société de Mode – A scream of an interview with stylist Brett Bailey
• Little Miss Makeup – Bold lips: This season’s hottest makeup trend.
• M.I.S.S. – Another simple yet attractive necklace by Pandora from Acessory Source in this week’s She’s Crafty.
• Previously Owned – To celebrate the [almost there] opening of the ONLINE store Previously Owned BLOG is giving away a Royal Blue hobo!
• Retro Chick – Vintage Hair Styling with Flamingo Amy
• Style on a String – Harem Pants: Yay or Nay? And some quick tips on how to buy and wear them.
• Sugar and spice and all things nice – 10 things I like…. no, LOVE… about FANTASY SHOPPING!!
• sweetarchivia – Review of the much anticipated launch of the Rodarte for Target line by the Mulleavy sisters.
• THE COVETED – Versace Pre-Fall returns to color
• The Demoiselles – Wing Tips: Your First Time…at the Tailor
• The Fashion Planner – The Fashion Planner is excited to announce the publication of The Fashion Planner’s Guide!
• The Style PA – I review the comfy, Cable Cosy by Isabella Oliver
• The Working Wardrobe – Learning the art of layering that is both fashion-forward and office-appropriate

Here’s a snippet of a recent conversation I had during a post-Christmas dinner with my father and his girlfriend:

Her: “Well, maybe you could take some aptitude tests to figure out what you want to do, what you’d be best at.”

Me: “It’s not that I don’t know what I want to do; it’s that I want to do many things.  And I’m good at everything.”

Him: “Well, that was brazen.”

Me: “I’m not trying to be rude…”

Him: “No, it’s true.  You never had to study, and you always got straight A’s.  That hasn’t changed – and neither has your desire to throw yourself into every cause, and research every thing that comes your way.  I’m not saying it isn’t true; I’m just saying it’s a little brazen.”

Now, I’m not actually good at everything (Cartwheels? Completely beyond me) but I am good at most things – a quick study, if you will.  One of the things I’m often told I’m good at – sometimes with a little venom – is ignoring society’s standards and, often, speaking unpopular truths.  With that in mind, let me make a bold statement:

Society’s rules about pride – our expected humility, our fear of arrogance – are completely overrated.

I get that we’re supposed to defenestrate ourselves, declaring our greatest skills and assets unimportant or “not a big deal,” and I assume that it’s in an effort to keep other people from feeling inadequate.  That being said, doesn’t the act of brushing off our acheivements, our accomplishments, also leave us feeling inadequate?

Many of us grew up getting a gold star everyday, just for “trying hard.”  No one was ever the best – the quickest, the smartest, the most interesting – and instead, we were all equally…special, just for making an attempt.  I think that one of the detriments of that mentality is that we grow up thinking that only our efforts count: instead of taking pride in our creations, we fall back on whether or not we “tried.”  I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the unskilled whine: “But I worked so hard!” when the end product just wasn’t up to par…or, for those who have a knack or a talent, “Oh, it isn’t that great – it only took me a few minutes.”

So what?  Your innate talents – perfect pitch, the ability to sketch a masterpiece in minutes, a naturally strong, healthy body – are no less special because you didn’t “work” on them.  When you devalue your natural abilities, you devalue yourself. If you have a talent, be proud of it.  If you’ve got a great body, flaunt it.  And if you’ve created something you’re proud of, don’t hide it.  Embrace it.

Lady Gaga – another brazen woman with a striking talent (and body) - agrees:

(It leaps to the beginning of the quote I’m talking about – at 4:52 – and the quote ends just before the six muinte mark. Feel free to watch the rest if you want, though!)

If it makes you uncomfortable to be proud of your talents, beauty, or natural abilities – or even if it doesn’t – it helps to remind others of their natural abilities, too.  If your friend’s piano playing brings tears to your eyes, tell her so, and don’t let her brush it off. If your sister is the best cook you’ve ever met, remind her over dinner.  If that girl in your class has impeccable style, give her props for it.  It will make it easier for you to respect your own talents when others compliment you on them.

When was the last time someone told you that you rock - in style, beauty, or otherwise - and you not only thanked them, but agreed with them?

If you ask any catty office workers, high school misfits, or fashion-conservative connoisseurs, they will tell you that the best way to go from looking really chic to really, really tacky is to over-sexy-fy yourself.

This is a delicate topic… Lines within the “sexy” realm are easily blurred, erased and completely re-drawn – sometimes all within 3 months. So how is a girl to know if she’s fully “appropriate”? Whose definition of “sexy” is being used this week? Is it “tight pencil skirt & blouse” sexy, or “miniskirt with tights and a button down shirt”? There’s no compass through the mixed up world of perception.

That boyfriend tee just lost a few points by turning from full length to crop-top, but yet that corset-topped pencil dress is extremely elegant and chic. That strapless top is a helluva lot more acceptable than those ripped tights (and no, it’s not cool that you ripped them at home, and yes, we know you did). So where is the finite line? The “rock bottom’ you can casually step on top of and look up from?

Here’s the secret - it’s you.

Unfortunately, a lesson that many women don’t learn until, well, later than they should is that sexy doesn’t work unless you feel sexy in whatever you’re wearing.

So, no – that pair of skin-tight leather pants won’t work, because if it’s making you walk like a cowboy and your thighs are sticking to the inside – it’s going to look weird. Yes, it will – I’m sorry, but it will. However, if you throw on your favorite pencil skirt and that oh-so-slightly sheer secretary blouse you always wear with a camisole – throw on a black bra underneath and caution to the wind – as long as you’re comfortable, it’s going to work.

Much like the concerning woman I came across a few weeks ago, if you’re running your wardrobe by other people’s rules, you’re always going to look like crap. If you’re doing the “sexy” that Cosmo tells you to do, you’re not doing a service to yourself, your body or your style by copping someone else’s interpretation – get your own! Fashion is made to be personal, and if we don’t stop blindly gazing upon whatever is marked “sexy” in the latest news, fashion becomes homogenous and that’s gross. If we’re all supposed to look the same, what’s the point?

So, tell me – what clothes make you feel sexy? How can you incorporate what makes you feel sexy into your wardrobe?

For me, like my example above, I am all about sheer. I love it! I need some more attractive undergarments to use before going too crazy with it, but I love the idea! I’m also very attracted to lingerie-inspired pieces – the silk camisole with the lace trim, the satin robe, the lace leggings… I love it all.

And you?

Almost everyone we know that runs a fashion blog – or wants to – has one thing in common: they love to dress up.  Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know whether the outfit you like in theory works in practice…or so we think.  “Careless” is an opportunity for the two of us to post photos of some of our favorite outfits throughout each week, then tear them apart.  We’ll tell you what inspired us to create the look, whether or not that look breaks the “fashion rules” for our body types, and most importantly, how much we enjoyed wearing it!

This outfit came together, oddly enough, because I forgot to do laundry.  It’s cold and dreary in the Pacific Northwest, so I’m wearing a lot of pants, but when all of one’s slacks are balled up in the hamper, one must improvise.

The Outfit: The basics of this outfit are very “Mad Men” - very early sixties - which is an era I’ve always felt comfortable in.  The idea of mid- to high-waisted skirts, classic tops and a pair of pumps just screams “sexy” to me, without being overly raunchy or forcing me to adhere to some trendy standard.  Those classic cuts also allow me to play with accessories, giving the outfit whatever “mood” I want to depending on the day.  Feeling upbeat, I went candy-coated, but imagine if I’d gone for a faux python belt and bangles instead: the outfit would have gone from “cute” to “predatory” in a heartbeat.  (…and now I need a faux python belt.  Damn it.)

The Body: If there’s anything my short, long-legged hourglass figure should be wearing, it’s this.  Mid- to high-waisted skirts allow me to accentuate my waistline, and a high-neck top with detail at the shoulders and neckline is interesting without screaming “Hey, look at my boobs.”  The late fifties and early sixties were a great time to celebrate T&A, and the clothes inspired by that era fit a busty, hippy girl better than almost any other.

The Trends: It may not look like there are a lot of trends going on here, but for me, it’s all in the details: that top has a big, chunky, visible zipper in the back – very industrial without being inappropriate for the office – and the tights have an awesome cheetah-like pattern…but it’s only really noticable if you’re admiring my gams.  (Gentlemen: feel free.)  While I like playing with trends, I also like knowing I can wear a top for years without it going out of style.  With this blouse’s pretty pleats, soft shoulders and classic cotton weave, I can, even after the zipper trend is out of style.

What do you think of the classic skirt-and-tights look?

Top, Skirt, and shoes: Banana Republic (sale section!)
Tights: Steve Madden via Ross
Necklace: Ann Taylor Loft
Belt: Unknown

If you’ve been reading for a while – here at The Demoiselles, or over at Broke & Beautiful or Awakened Aesthetic – you already know that the two of us are insistent that everyone needs to own the basics, including a great pair of jeans, comfortable – but sexy – dress shoes, and a well-fitting t-shirt (among other things).  Our oft-discussed favorite online boutique, Mapel, is in complete agreement, and was kind enough to offer us a new tee – the burnout by Alternative Apparel – to try out.

[Jen would like to add, before we continue, that Alternative is strongly focused on social responsibility, and that many of their items are made using sustainably-produced materials, including organic cotton.]

We got to choose our own tees – Jen picked the V-Neck Tee in Moss; Elle got the Long-Sleeve Burnout in White – to show off our individual “Alternative” styles.  So, without further ado…

Jen’s style: I am all about the t-shirt and jeans look.  Always have been.  Long before Elle indoctrinated me into the fashion world, and certainly before I bought my first designer jeans, my fallback was always the same: v-neck shirt, pair of jeans, heels.  Repeat as necessary.

Though my fallback ensemble is easy to pull off, it can also be an easy excuse to go too casual – replacing the heels with sneakers, wearing something baggy and shapeless instead of body-skimming – which ruins the whole effect.  The point of a t-shirt and jeans is to look effortless, not slovenly.  (Trips to the grocery store at 10AM on a Sunday notwithstanding, of course.)

Because of my obsession with this super-basic look, I didn’t do much with my Alternative Apparel v-neck.  I kept it simple with a black tank top (also from Mapel, also by Alternative Apparel), a pair of straight-leg jeans (Converse by John Varvatos) and some black suede platforms from
Banana Republic.  To add a little pop, I topped it off with a cameo-inspired octopus necklace (a present from Elle – aww!) and bright red lipstick.  (When a girl’s gotta vamp, a girl’s gotta vamp…at least a little.)

Alternative Apparel Burnout Tee (Size L), Converse by John Varvatos Jeans (Gilt), Suede Pumps (Banana Republic)

The best thing about this top isn’t the cute, longish, cuffed sleeves (which are awesome) or the burnout fabric (also awesome, but in an understated way).  It’s that the shirt – and the tank top too, in fact – is really, really soft. Sleeping puppies soft.  Warmly cuddling with a lover soft.  Barely-there soft.  Shall I continue?

Elle’s Style: Did I really just get a stark white, long sleeved shirt? With… a tiny bit of transparency? Are you kidding me? To the untrained eye, white is a harmless idea. In fact, it’s even considered peaceful and positive. I know. But as a heavier girl with more protrusive attributes, we are taught that white is not our friend. White will make is look fat(ter) and blah-blah-blah-something relating to Shamu in a wedding dress. Because of this deadly childhood lesson, I’ve positioned myself as far from white as fashionably possible.

Well, until I shook my head free of the societal logic chains and realized that – hey – white hasn’t done anything to me – what gives?

So when Mapel offered to send us these Alternative Apparel items for review, I knew I had to take a chance. I mean, Alternative Apparel is all about being unique, but basic – the beauty of the oxymoron is that it works. What’s more classic than a basic, white, cotton shirt? Nothing. But what’s basic about a banded, burnout top with long sleeves and a longer design? Nothing. I had to go white. It was scary, but I mustered through.

And boy am I glad I did.

Alternative Apparel Burnout Tee (Size XL), Black Cropped Pants (ebay), MIA shoes (OnlineShoes.com Warehouse sale)

Look, ladies! I’m still alive! I am a size 14 girl, standing a mere 5′6″, wearing white and I don’t look anything like a sea mammal. The beauty of this shirt falls in many categories. First of all, the white is actually white – not dulled, not yellowed, not blue… WHITE. The sleeves are extra long, and for a girl who loves to pull her sleeves down, it’s a dream because I no longer run the risk of stretching or, worse, tearing holes in the cuffs. Think this is a silly “pro”? Just take a look at what I did to my favorite high school sweatshirt. Yeah, not so silly now, is it? As for the burnout – I was a burnout virgin prior to this piece, and I have to say I love it. It shows some skin tone without showing too much else. You just get a glint of decolletage instead of the look of a bunch of holes, which many people assume burnout will produce.

Overall, I’m in love. I’ve worn this shirt so many times that I almost lost it – I’m not even kidding. I wore it to my first day at my new job, I wore it out when my Dad was visiting from Seattle, and I believe I even wore it the last time I was in Seattle… I’m obsessed – not only with burnout, this shirt, and the look – but with Alternative Apparel. The cotton is crazy soft, I’ve never felt anything like it.

All I can say: I can’t wait to get more, and I will happily pay the ~$20 per piece, any day, any time.

What’s your favorite way to wear a basic t-shirt?