The Demoiselles

It’s so easy to be uncertain.

It’s easy to ask someone else’s opinion, to land on the logical decision, to do what’s expected.  Whether picking out clothes, deciding where to work, or even discussing marriage and kids, the fastest way to stress relief is to choose tradition.  Finding the right clothes is all about body type.  Getting a job means school and hard work and great stock options.  Marriage and kids?  Statistics tell us that two parents raise more successful kids than just one.

Our parents’ generation proved this stuff.  Our grandparents’ generation did too.  History has shown that back then, these expectations made for success.  In a word, they worked.

But do they work now?  Do they work for you?

I bet they don’t.  Most of those that read this blog are under thirty-five – we’re the generation people like to call Millennials.

And it’s no secret that us Millennials are on the cusp of something new.

We took blogging and made it into New Media.

We took the Green Movement and made it into a cultural statement.

We took a presidential election and made history.

And when I look at what’s going on with “the kids these days” – myself included – all of these new things make me excited.  I think of how awesome it is to have been born in eighty-three, at the beginning of a generation of people that are going to change the way everyone thinks, and the way we think of tradition…and I also wonder at how scary it is to have to be one of the first people to believe in it, no matter how weird it all seems.

I recently told two of my elders (identities withheld) that I went to Boston as a representative for Broke & Beautiful.  No matter how I explained it, though, they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea.  It’s just a silly website. Why would they pay for a girl with a website to fly to Boston?  Don’t you just write about stuff online?  It’s not really journalism, is it?

They don’t get it: this is new journalism.  It’s new media.  It’s not traditional, and no one really knows how it all works yet.  That’s what’s so great about it: it’s so young, and so raw, that it’s just now being explored.  It’s tradition, waiting to happen…if we come together to make it so.

The best thing about being young in 2010 is that we’re in the perfect place to change the course of history.

The worst thing about being young in 2010 is the fear that we can’t do it.  The uncertainty.  The urge to ask someone else if it’s smart, if it’s logical, if it makes sense.

Forget about tradition, and about what makes sense.  Wear what you want.  Write what you want.  Do the research and get informed and make the decisions that fit you. Because the way we’re handling our bodies, our blogs, our consumerism, our politics…it’s all getting press, because it’s all totally new.

Let’s keep surprising our elders.  Let’s start a revolution.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has been the center of some major scrutiny when it comes to “ideal bodies” in the media’s eyes. One vacation produced photos that spanned the ‘net and lingered for months, and months… She handled it like a pro, though, and returns triumphantly with a great outlook on body image. Coming from a situation that could easily have crushed any girl’s spirit to spread self-love is all we can ask for.

There is something vindicating about stealing a man’s clothing – regardless of the surrounding circumstances.

Making a grand departure from the ever-confined world of “fitted for your shape” is freeing. There are no strange contour seams that can make you feel obligated to mold yourself correctly, any requirement of being “small” is diminished, and definition of your smaller parts becomes nearly obsolete as there’s little-to-no way of achieving it without extra belts, straps, or cinches.

It’s pretty nice to just wear clothes sometimes.

On top of the sheer joy experienced by thieving a shirt from your closest male friend/love/relative/whatever… There’s pretty much no chance of anything looking the same on you as it would on a dude – your parts will change the entire shape of a pair of pants, a button-down shirt, a ribbed tank… We’ve all stolen those, let’s just be honest.

This is not boyfriend-exclusive, by the way. About a year ago, I shamelessly stole the watch on my left hand from my Dad. I love men’s watches. Particularly with something that’s not particularly masculine – a frilly top, a dress… A 14 lb. gold navigator’s watch. It’s like a symphony.

Combining feminine and masculine aspects is one of my favorite ways to feel “put together.” I know I’m maintaining my visual self-interest if I’m putting contrasting ideas together. Skintight jeans, heels, and menswear makes me feel like a big ol’ saucepot. (That means lots of “saucy” for those who are thinking “…Um, that’s good?”)

Speaking of saucy, there is no question about the limit of sex appeal you can wring out of a man’s shirt.

Masculine, my ass.

Have you stolen a boyfriend’s, brother’s or father’s clothing before? How do you wear it? Moreover, how do you feel in it?

Fast Forward to Fall

• a la modest: High-waisted jeans (a.k.a. mom jeans) are back in vogue!
• Beautifully Invisible: Steven Meisel’s Water & Oil: Social Commentary or Tasteless Fashion?
• Beyond Fabric: On men bags
• Dramatis Personae: Gilda Su announce Revasseur & Pre-Fall 2011 Lookbook.
• Embracing Style: How to make your own chain bag!
• Fete a Fete: Review of Guerlain’s new 68 Champs-Elysees fall 2010 makeup collection:
• For Those About To Shop: Katharine Hamnett is the mother of eco-fashion and believes consumers have the power to change the world
• Independent Fashion Bloggers: Can you Kickstart a New Career With Crowdfunding?
• Intrinsically Florrie: Dream dress and dream shoes- the fairytale look
• Kyoto Maiko: You Can’t Buy “Prep,” But You Can Own It…
• Miss Jones & Me: Roll into the Wild Woolly West: A focus on Fall transition pieces because the temperature can’t drop soon enough!
• My Closet in Sketches: A hand drawn interpretation of the magic of white jeans (from the Gap men’s department, to boot!).
• Vogue Gone Rogue: tuscan vineyards and teal rompers. A lighthearted outfit post inspired by Tuscan countryside and wine.
• Rags to Reverie: Sarah Mower’s Fashion Illustrations for Vogue China and Vogue Nippon
• Retro Chick: A very modern vintage manicure
• Shoe Daydreams: Where do you draw the line with knocks-offs… what about when a blogger favorite retailer is doing it?
• Shoeper Woman: Why does no one dress up any more?
• Style Eyes: How to jump right out of a style rut – some ideas on how to look and feel great
• Stylin’ Girl: Kristen McMenamy. Collages & trivia about a timeless fashion icon!
• The Demoiselles: What would you sacrifice for a more “fashion-friendly” body?
• The Simply Luxorious Life: A dream of a shopping list for the fall fashions – staples that will enhance any woman’s wardrobe.

I recently met with a trainer – you know, one of those free sessions you get for joining a gym – to discuss my “workout goals” and how to reach them.

When he asked for my goal weight I said, “Something like 125.  I mean, that’s a soft goal.  I’m not sure where my body will be at 125, so I don’t know…”

He looked over my current weight, height and measurements, and then he leveled with me.

“You have to decide what body you want.  Once you truly commit, you’ll get there.  Just make sure you commit to what you actually want, not what’s easy or what you think you can do, or a routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle.”

And that trainer, he got me thinking.

“Marilyn Monroe with Barbells” by Philippe Halsman

Here’s the hard truth: barring major health issues or a desire for plastic surgery, the body you want is the body you’ve got. When we make choices that affect the way we look – which foods to eat, how long to work out for, whether we really need a beer at 10PM on a Thursday – we are committing to a certain health standard, a certain body type.  In my opinion, that’s a good thing, as long as we’re honest about it.

When people ask why I work out, I tell them it’s because I want to be healthy…and keep eating cake. The truth is a little more long-winded:

• I want to eat cake…and nachos.  And burgers with bacon and avocado.
• I want my injured back to finally feel better, because the muscles surrounding it are strong and flexible.
• I want to go out for drinks and not worry about whether I ate enough to keep from getting smashed, or how many calories are in that liqueur I can’t pronounce.
• I want to then hike into the mountains without slowing up my friends, and hike back down without shin splints.

I realized that what I want has little to do with that “perfect weight,” or what my body fat percentage is, or how my clothes fit.  (Admittedly, as a fashion blogger, that last one is a little important.)  It has a lot more to do with what I see as “quality of life.”

Up until recently, I’d unwittingly decided that the body I wanted was one that forced me to restrict the foods I liked and avoid most physical activities – even the fun ones.  And you know what?  I chose that body. I choose to avoid strenuous activity and delicious foods, because I didn’t want to make the time to work out.

Now, I want a body that can go up two flights of stairs without feeling a burn; one that feels strong and capable, whether working outside or, ahem, in the bedroom.  I want that body more than I want the extra three hours per week that I’m missing by working out.

And the 120-pound physique?  I want that too, but not more than I want cake and nachos and nights out with friends.  If I can have both, great, but if I have to choose, I’ll pick food, fun and nightlife every time.

What are you willing to sacrifice for a more “fashion-friendly” body…and what would you never consider giving up?

Christina Hendricks, of Firefly notoriety (our favorite) and current Mad Men fame, is a constant topic of discussion here, as you may have noticed. She was recently interviewed as a “Healthy Celebrity” (noteworthy on its own, good job, media!) in the latest issue of Health magazine. It took only three questions about random things before they zeroed in on her body image – on which she has a quite healthy outlook. She’s one of our favorite people to talk about because she shows no shame when it comes to her body type (as well she shouldn’t!), and we love her for that. You can read the entire interview over at Health.com.

Looking back, moving forward?

Edited by: Florrie Clarke of Intrinsically Florrie.

Links à la Mode: July 29th

This is a collection of brilliant posts collected by The Demoiselles over the week. Some may have been featured on our Twitter, some may have been sent to use through email, or by our friends on Facebook. Please check out, and send love to the blogs featured here – they’re all worth a look!

Jezebel has been covering Crystal Renn’s alleged weight loss… Which would sound pretty superficial and counterproductive, if she’d actually lost any weight, which she didn’t. The photographer just “shaped her”, because it’s “his job to make women look beautiful.” Nice.

This is a really interesting chart that shows various people at their heights and weights. And by all, we mean all – nearly every height/weight combination is represented with a photo! A great reminder that everyone holds their weight in different ways. (Shown to us on Facebook by Antishay.)

“As long as society resists female power, fashion will call healthy women physically flawed. As long as society accepts the physical, sexual and economic abuse of women, popular culture will prefer women who resemble little girls. Sitting in the hospital the summer after my college graduation, I grasped the absurdity of a nation of adult women dying to grow small.”

- Abra Fortune-Chernik, “The Body Politic”

New tech girl-crush, Jolie O’Dell, talks about her own weight loss journey, and how the blogging lifestyle and all its sedentary goodness can be really detrimental.

One of our favorite blogs, Eat The Damn Cake, wrote a great piece titled “I Used To Be A Skinny Person.” Definitely worth a read.

Boston.com published an article for Moms with tips on how to approach young girls and daughters about the idea of body image and “role models.”

The Wholestyle Network linked to an interesting article about exercising while recovering from an eating disorder.

This is definitely one of my favorite reads: Shelby Knox wrote about her experience participating in a photoshoot… The title should be enough to rouse your interest. Take a look at My Day as an Anti-Feminist (Role) Model.

Lilian Behrendt talks about how we’ve (d)evolved into a culture of bullying.

More Eat The Damn Cake for your enjoyment: All Men Are Pigs, And Other Popular Misconceptions.

We’ve decided that when Lindsay moves to Seattle, we’re going to start a gigantic library full of books on body image and media theory… Luckily, Cynosure has provided us with a list of 8 books (“that will transform your eating & body image”) that we’ll definitely be picking up!

Don’t forget to send us anything you find relating to health, body image, or media standards! We love mail!

Images from The Natural Female Form