Boyception: How Our Partners View Our Style

Hi. This is Elle. Yesterday, my boyfriend called me a “diva”.

A DIVA, ladies. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have (ahem) assets, but a diva, I am not. I do not have any large hats with big bows on them. I do not own a dress made from sequins. I do not require 75 green M&Ms in my dressing room before my show. In fact, I don’t even have a show. So where is this coming from!?

Upon stifling my shock, I did manage to squeak out a “Could you elaborate on that? Honey? Honey-dearest?” Are you imagining my strained smile?

Apparently, the culprit of my diva-dom is my shoes, sunglasses and 20 oz. latte. Okay, so we’re no longer talking about “take the stage” diva – we’re talking about “I’m too good for you” diva, which – in my opinion – is worse than the former. When I think “Diva + Shoes + Coffee + Sunglasses”, I see Victoria Beckham which, I admit, isn’t too bad… But from a boy’s perspective, I can assume it’s not the greatest vibe to be throwing out there.

…But what does that mean as far as my style goes? After spilling the above story to Jennifer Nicole, she revealed that she’d gotten the same -ahem- “star treatment” from her boyfriend and we decided to tackle the question as a whole: How do our partners’ views of our styles change the way we view ourselves?

I definitely don’t like the connection between myself and “diva”, so should I take my boyfriend’s statement to heart? Do I adjust my style standards based on an analysis from a grungy, non-style-interested boy in his late 20s or say, “Hey, my style is open to interpretation, and I’m movin’ on”? This is the man I’m in love with, the man whose opinions I respect in everything else, and though I could race through the self-conscious question line involving such standards as “Does he think less of me now?”, it does me no good. Besides, I’m worried about my style here, people!

While I respect his opinion, I currently have no plans of adjusting my “diva”ness. I love my big, bug sunglasses, and my ever-growing shoe collection. I am completely and wholeheartedly addicted to my 20 oz. Soy Carmel Latte, and ripping that from my hands might as well kill me on the spot. Of course I would never fault my darling boy for interpreting my style that way – hell, that’s what it’s there for! Art is always open to interpretation – that’s the beauty of it. While I might smile more at folks passing on the street (I’m not a diva, I promise!), I certainly have no plans to change my style because of my boyfriend’s perception.

Luckily, my boyfriend has figured out that the word “diva” sends most fashionistas into a fit, so when we started talking about style, that word never passed his lips. He did mention, though, that when he met me I was “a total prep,” and that after I moved to Seattle my style changed to “indie…but not music indie. Casual indie.” I think that has something to do with my love affair with jeans, but I hope it also takes into account that I go for a less trendy “effortless” look. When I pushed for clarification, all he said was, “Like fashion, I am open to interpretation.”

Thanks, honey. That really helps.

While I take my boyfriend’s opinions into consideration - he’s got an eye for classic fashion and can always tell if something will work on my curvy body - I never rely on them when it comes to my personal style. If I had, I would still be stuck in that preppy rut, wondering if he’d hate that weird-looking top or those bright orange shoes (which, by the way, he thinks are a little silly…and I still wear them). Because I can be an impulsive shopper, I do ask him about clothing I’m uncertain about, but if it’s something I know I’ll wear, something that makes me feel good about myself, it’s going in my closet whether he likes it or not!

How does your partner feel about your style? What do you do when their Boyception (or Girlception!) doesn’t match your view of yourself?

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Post Tags: boyfriends, girlfriends, perceptions, relationships, style