We talk a lot about body acceptance on The Demoiselles: whether you’re thin, fat, curvy or flat, your body is yours, and worthy of love.  At the same time, when I read about designers like Christian Lacroix stating that they will not book models they feel are “too thin,” I have to speak up…

…and agree with them.

“What I cannot stomach, because it evokes the war to me, is when you can see a woman’s kneecap protruding in its entirety, skinny elbows, or a woman’s chest bones. [...] There are certain models I cancelled jobs with because they were too thin.”

-Christian Lacroix (emphasis added)

In the same vein, I totally agree with a recent article at fashion blog 39th and Broadway, which calls out UK writer Alix Bilmes’ for his cruel bullying of singer and fashion icon Beth Ditto.  (That name sound familiar? Elle wrote about Beth back in April, here.)  In short, Ditto is a “fat lesbian,” and Bilmes thinks she doesn’t belong in the fashion world.

I totally agree with 39th and Broadway‘s interpretation of Bilmes’ unprofessional gripes (view his pointless venom here), but what really got me smiling was her begrudging concession about one of his main points: Beth Ditto is severely overweight.  Thank you, 39th and Broadway, for saying it (while trashing a bully, no less)!

What does Beth Ditto have to do with Christian Lacroix?  Well, the link between these two stories – one of shunned skinny models and another of celebrated obesity – is our media’s obsession with extreme body types and role models.  Even as women call for ”normalcy,” what we tell the media to give us – what we pay for – are extremes.  Every day we ask for this unhealthy scrutiny: with our television habits, our shopping decisions, our tweets about celebrities and their changing waistlines.  We don’t catapult our average-sized actresses, singers and models into superstardom.  Why would we, when they’re so… average?

And, inevitably, these consumerist habits and the media’s influence wage war on our self-esteem.

• “My collarbones don’t show. Does that mean I’m fat?”
• “I feel like crap. Screw it – I’m eating this entire bag of chips. If Beth Ditto can be hot and fat, why the hell can’t I?”
• “I don’t stand out.  I’m just too…normal-looking.  If I looked like her, I’d be happier.”

How many of these quotes could be attributed to you?  At least one has left my lips - and many just like it have entered my mind, but what held me back from saying them was this simple truth: all of those lines are bullshit.  They’re excuses that limit any potential for us to be beautiful as we are, and to keep us from focusing on maintaining a healthy, sexy body based on what we were actually born with.

The proof is in the pudding:  almost every ”BBW” group I’ve seen on the ‘net cares more about “claiming their weight” than whether they’re healthy, or even if their bodies are predisposed to being the weight they’re at.  (Before you burn me for a traitor: one of my family members has a disease that does keep her from losing weight, and she is fat and healthy. Yep, it’s possible, but less common than some fat activists claim.)  On the other side of the coin, who hasn’t heard of those miracle diets that will help you lose five pounds in a week, no matter what the cost to your immune system and metabolism, or the “thinspiration” communities that have photoshopped pictures of girls that look like they time-traveled from World War II?

These extremists campaigns not only make us “normal weight” women feel boring and obsolete, but they also promote truly unhealthy lifestyles (because all they talk about is how to look, not how to live).

My solution is this: to keep on loving my five foot, 130-pound body, which will never be the size two it was back in high school, and try to do right by it as best I can.

So until I’m working out regularly (but not excessively), eating healthy (but not sparingly) and enjoying my life (but not overindulging), I have no room to bitch about whether or not someone accepts my body.  If I did, I’d have to accept those other unhealthy bodies as sexy, and that just ain’t going to happen.

To contact Jennifer Nicole, the author of this post, please send e-mails to jen@thedemoiselles.com or use our contact form.

Browse Timeline

• « Trend Watch: White Denim
• » Trend Watch: Sequin Mania

Comments ( 29 )

Add a Comment