You may have heard, just a couple of weeks ago, that Lindsay and I are battling to the death to see whose shape is better.

…Oh, wait. That’s not true.

Firstly, Lindsay and I are sort of the same general shape (hourglass – though mine’s shorter and we are made using totally different kinds of sand) and second, the differences in our shapes are bangin’. I mean, look at us:

How YOU doin’?

Third, as we’ve said since The Demoiselles took its first digital breath, every shape is beautiful. We’re fans of straights, pears, rectangles, apples…if it’s a shape, and a woman looks like it, we dig it. That’s why we entered 365 Hangers’ Style a Shape contest.

Through August 5, Lindsay and I will be competing with tons of differently-styles and shaped-women (all stunners in their own right) in order to win a fashion prize package worth $500. Though Lindsay listed lots of good reasons to go vote for us earlier this month on Broke & Beautiful, I’m going to add a few of my own:

1. Our shapes rock, but they don’t define us. The above styles cater to our hourglass body types, but there’s no rule that says you have to accentuate a small waist, or play up great legs, or pretend you have whatever it is society says the ideal body is. Lindsay’s fashion choices make her look like an apple here, and I’m pretending to be straight-bodied in this outfit post.
2. You’ll be helping to promote pro-body acceptance businesses. Just clicking over to 365 Hangers and voting – for anyone! – reminds the rest of the ‘net that you support websites that offer style options for all kinds of women (and voting for us supports the pro-acceptance work we do over here).
3. It’s really, really easy to vote. There’s nothing to sign up for, no one to give your email address to. If you have a Facebook, you can vote by simply “liking” our style on 365 Hangers’ website. And you can vote for both of us!

Will you vote for us?

I hope I’ve given you good cause to at least click over to 365 Hangers and consider giving one or both of us a vote…and maybe, if you’re feeling especially generous, leave a comment!

All you have to do to vote is…

• Click HERE to vote for Lindsay and her body-skimming Shabby Apple dress.
• Click HERE to vote for Jennifer, who is wearing her favorite thigh-hugging Five Bamboo dress.

Amazing alliteration aside (wow, I’m on fire), we’re proud to announce that The Demoiselles have a presence on Tumblr!

Not only are we in love with the massive photo inspiration, beauty, and discussion on Tumblr, but we’ve also developed some amazing relationships and have found many likeminded ladies and gentlemen who have the same mission as we do. In case you’ve forgotten what we’re about:

The Demoiselles: advocates of pride, strength, knowledge and beauty – inside and out.

So head over to Tumblr and follow us for great discussions, visual inspiration, and motivation to change the world!

The Demoiselles’ network currently includes fashion blogs Broke & Beautiful and Awakened Aesthetic, and the TD Community… And now, we’d like to welcome Fashion While Eating – a blog devoted to stunning images (ads, spreads, & submissions!) of women and men eating. While fashionable.

The idea is to present fashionable women, eating. That’s it. A woman in full black tie dress chowing down on a medium-rare steak. A boi in a tie and oxfords with spinach poking from the corner of their lips. A punked-out platinum blond eating Pringles. Men in three-piece suits eating waffle cones.  You in your “hot” outfit with heels and those fantastic jeans.

It’s a lighthearted, yet pretty empowering take on the idea of fashion, body image, standards and food, for all genders, lifestyles and body types.

The best part of Fashion While Eating is the submissions. Readers, visitors, and people in general are heavily encourage to submit their own photos of fashionable mastication. Are you having a girls night in where everyone wears pumps and eats cheetos? Did you cook your first turkey, and made sure you wore your Stepford Wife gear to eat it? Please, send in a photo. Everyone wants to see that.

So while we’re serious and sometimes gloomy on this site of the TD fence, you can now get your body acceptance fodder balance from photos of beautiful women eating beautiful food!

Visit FWE!

Follow my blog with bloglovin‘.

Much love, peace, and happiness through the new year, darlings!

2010 is almost gone! That was one big year, am I right? Looking through the last twelve months of posts makes me really honored to have such an amazing, opinionated community of men and women. We want to thank you so much for sticking with us, and hope that you’ll tag along as we take on 2011!

In collecting these posts, I realized that the “best” posts of 2010 were a lot less about Jennifer Nicole or myself, they were about the amazing discussions and commentary we got on the ideas that we presented. These posts are the best posts of 2010 because of you! So go revel in your glory!

1. Pride & Self-Prejudice

We started off the new year by urging you to believe that it’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments! There is a place for modesty and humility, but when it turns into self-deprecation to keep others comfortable, you end up doing yourself a psychological disservice!

2. Check Yourself: Accidentally Contributing to Media Standards

Some things are so engrained into our culture that we do them without noticing. We do it all the time! “Hand me a Kleenex,” “Do you have any ChapStick?”… Our sense of humor has been conditioned by the media to understand a level of inappropriateness that we sometimes forget to really listen to what’s out there. Learning to really listen to what people say can result is finding out that we put ourselves and others down constantly, without even knowing it!

3. A Glossy View: Ad Campaign Curiosity

Ever notice in advertisements for women’s products… There’s always an extra person there? We examine the effects/intentions behind including lusty men in clothing ads.

4. Nudity is Apparently Relative

This was a hot issue this year – the use of the word “nude” in the fashion industry has ostracized and offended many cultures! Newsflash: Not everyone is pink-y beige when they’re naked, guys!

5. Risky Fashion & The Need for Social Validation

Stepping outside the boundaries of “tradition” or “usual” can be really exhilarating when it comes to aesthetic and fashion… But do you need an unusually strong sense of self to take it on?

6. Women in the Media: Adele

You guys loved reading about sassy singer, Adele! She’s an icon of strength and talent, and doesn’t give a lick about what people are saying about her weight. Why? It’s not important, that’s why!

7. Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling?

If you knew how others saw your body, would it change how you felt about yours? In the case of children, do our negative body images affect theirs as they grow?

8. The Body You Want is the Body You’ve Got

It seems like everyone everywhere wants to “lose weight,” “get skinny!”, etc. But… why? For clothes? For a marathon? For fun? Jennifer explains why you can have it all when you do it for the right reason – for you.

9. Defending Your Life, Sure – But What About Defending Your Weight?

The media is becoming more interested in a wider range of celebrity bodies (Christina Hendricks, Nikki Blonsky, Beth Ditto), but sometimes it seems like it’s just for their entertainment – all they ever talk about is their weight & shape! Some celebrities are laying down the law when it comes to body defense.

10. Millennials: We Are the Revolution

Our own little love letter to our generation, and why we’re (& you!) are primed to do anything.

11. Mantra

An ode to women.

12. What To Do When Your Friends Are Brainwashed

While you might consider yourself a budy-image crusader, you will undoubtedly run into people who are oblivious to the media conditioning they’ve undergone, and constantly compare themselves (& others) to unfair media standards. This is a guide on how to help them out without sounding like a conspiracy theorist.

13. The Photoshop Law

Some countries are starting to take notice and worry (rightfully so!) about the psychological damage done through the heavy, unrealistic retouching of advertisements. When will the US hop on the boat?

14. Challenging the Movement: What Is Privilege?

We hear every day about how we either are, or aren’t a part of a societal minority, and how we may be treated differently because of it. But how do you decide who’s in and who’s out? What’s “enough” to be considered part of group considered “privileged”?

15. The Journey of Sex Appeal

Fashion goes in cycles, and ideals change… Are we on the cusp of an image revolution?

Did you have a favorite post this year? Post it here, whether we wrote it or not! Happy Holidays, and much love into the new year!

One of the most beautiful parts of this site and project is the extraordinary perspectives, insights and opinions presented by you. Our readers are so amazing and intelligent that we want to take the beauty of your abilities and fuel it into something amazing and provocative.

We’ve created a Community section filled with forums, allowing you (and anyone you want to share it with) to start open dialogues and discussions on what you think is important – not just what we post here. Your comments on our posts are so beautiful and fantastic, we want to give you free range to express whatever you feel is important in our forums.

If you see something in the forums that you think could be improved, please let us know. We’ve created some sections that we think could really be interested and allow for some wonderful discussions, but if you think something should be added, subtracted, expanded… we want to do that for you.

So, please – sign up for the Community section and become part of our family by giving us the extraordinary gift of your insight!

Image via Shorpy.com.

If you’re a regular reader of The Demoiselles, you’ve probably noticed that it’s been a little dead in here.

First of all: we know, and we’re sorry.   Though the Getting Healthy project is well underway, and the new girls are kicking some serious ass at both getting healthy and getting their posts up each week, the the two of us – a.k.a. The Demoiselles themselves – haven’t been nearly as productive.

You can blame it on stress, or on “real life,” or on new projects but the fact is that right now, neither of us are focusing on our body types, self esteem or beauty issues.

But there’s something to learn from every experience, and because you can always count on us to dissect a real life situation into it’s tiniest details:

What Happens When The Demoiselles Quit Thinking About Body Positivity?

Lindsay’s Story: This is the first time in my entire life that I haven’t been at least partially consumed with body image issues. It’s a bit novel, really – I don’t quite know what to do with myself. When I catch myself in the mirror, post-shower, and don’t cringe… I almost cringe at the not-cringing. It’s a strange feeling.

As some of you may have gathered via Twitter and/or B&B – my life has kind of taken a gi-freaking-gantic turn over the last two months. M

y nearly-three-year relationship came to a semi-ugly close, I moved in with some [wonderful!] strangers, and lost my less-than-wonderful job. It was quite the explosion of catastrophe and man – was I ever the opposite of “prepared.” If you talk with your friends online, you’ll surely know this face:

That was me for about 1.5 months. No excuse, I know… But it was the most cathartic, lost, and bewildering time of my entire life. After much stewing, arguing with myself, and some slight moping, I’ve managed to ostracize myself completely from the things that matter to me – The Demoiselles being an unfortunate casualty. This has not only lead to further blog-depression, but also the demise of my awareness. These are not good things.

Fortunately, (yes, there’s an upside) I’m coming out of it. I’ve separated myself from the poison, and I’ve regained my strength. I’m poking my head out of the hole and seeing that – hey, it’s almost summer. Hey, we have great readers and friends and supporters. Getting Healthy is booming right now (check it out, seriously), and there’s no longer a reason to ignore. No more shutting things out, it’s time for some diving.

Jen’s Story: You know what makes me feel gross?  Apathy.

When things get really hard – and they’ve been more than a little tough these past few months – I become very focused on just getting through the day.  I go to work; I do my job.  I come home; I do laundry; I clip the dog’s nails.  I “talk it out” with the people I love, and wait for the storm to pass.  As long as I see a light at the end of the tunnel, this coping mechanism keeps me focused – so when I finally get to the end of the tunnel, my life isn’t piled up, waiting for me.

Sometimes, though, the tunnel just gets longer…and as strong as we think we are, us humans just can’t cope with prolonged pain and stress as well as we think.

That’s where my coping mechanism breaks down: I spend so much time focusing on “getting by” that I don’t have the energy to do all that positive work that makes me feel good about getting by. I still go to work, but my pants feel too tight and my posture sucks.  I come home and do laundry, but don’t stop to think which outfits will keep me feeling sexy, or smart, or even just happy.  And metabolism-boosting, mood-elevating exercise?  Please. It’s raining and I’m sleepy and I don’t wanna talk about it.

That same coping mechanism has kept me from any and all inspiration as a Demoiselle.  I have seen a couple of interesting articles, but none have wowed me or made me think.  I even have a few drafts for fashion-related posts in the arsenal, but nothing I  couldn’t live without.  My coping mechanism led toward apathy, and that apathy led toward feeling gross about my own body….which led to more apathy about writing as a Demoiselle.  How am I supposed to dress anyone else if I can’t dress myself?

Duh.  I can’t.

Now that I’m noticing it, it’s time for a change.  My friend Michelle (of Getting Healthy fame) is dragging me out of the house for a run once a week, and in the mean time, I’m going through my closet and hiding all of the clothes that don’t fit.  (They just make me feel worse.)  I’m even trading sugar cravings for crunches (twenty-five) and salt cravings for push-ups (ten, because I’m a wuss).  I’m not going to fool myself – my life is still really crazy right now, and these changes aren’t an immediate cure-all – but it’s nice to know I have a plan to act on.

When you get busy or stressed out, do you feel better about your body, or worse?
How do you deal with it?

Photo: weheartit

Elle came across a post today on NYMag about Australian “Search for a Supermodel” winner, Gemma Ward, retiring from modeling. This is a big deal for a girl who nearly ran New York Fashion Week last year, and held some pretty prestigious campaigns like Alexander McQueen, Yves Saint Laurent and Prada.

The last the public really heard about Gemma was her movie, The Strangers,  and her romantic link to late actor, Heath Ledger. She hasn’t offered commentary on why she’s decided to end her modeling career, but there has been much speculation regarding her current weight gain. Photos were posted of her looking a few sizes larger, to be sure.

Naturally, comments poured in about her “fat” body, her career in plus size modeling (which we find interesting considering, well, she’s quitting, right? The main article? Hm.), and many other highly invasive information. We got a little speculative, ourselves.

[Begin Conversation]

Elle:
Where do you stand on the idea that famous people offer up their lives for us to dig through – simply because they’re famous?

Jennifer Nicole:
I think that the question is a huge one, and my answer is complicated, haha. Or maybe not. Let’s find out:

I disagree with the constant following of celebrities, and with the willfull removal of their privacy by tabloids.  I don’t disagree with speculation, per se, if the celebrity isn’t giving commentary on a high-profile decision or situation - but I would also speculate as to your motives, as someone I know (and a friend) if you refused to comment on a big decision. I think that not speculating, in general, is impossible, especially considering we look up to these people as role models.

I don’t necessarily love it, but I do think that it’s unlikely to stop, and that a sense of familiarity is necessary for celebrity to even occur. I try not to do it myself, but I do understand that without a certain amount of transparancy, it just….is.

What about you? What do you think?

Elle:
I think I agree with you – it makes a lot of sense. I hate that people look up to celebrities. I hate that it’s glorified like it’s the “best thing you could POSSIBLY do”. But yet, I still do it! It’s shoved down our throats. It’s nearly unavoidable. But when celebs don’t offer commentary, I kind of take that as “I don’t want you to know”, and I try to remember that we’re both – you know, same ol’ same ol’ [Elle-ism] – human, and I try as hard as I can to respect that. Though my initial reaction IS still to find out, because I’ve been conditioned to.

Jennifer Nicole:
If we didn’t care so much – if we could look to some other thing to make our personal enigma – all those gossip rag celebs (you know, the ones that become famous despite talent at anything) would fall away. People would appreciate the art (modelling, acting, singing, stage presence, performance, etc.) instead of the tabloid fodder.

What do you think?  Should we avoid speculating about celebrities’ motives and decisions, or do they give up that privacy when they become famous?

Getting Healthy was a huge success, and we’re really excited that you guys seem to like it as much as we do! The girls did an amazing job of sharing their stories, ups, downs, and thoughts – I’m eager to see the next chapter!

Speaking of… (Good segue, no?) We’ve done some rearranging around here, in terms of Getting Healthy:

• By multiple reader request, we have separated the RSS feeds completely. So if you were following Getting Healthy via the main TD feed, you’ll no longer receive GH updates once CH.II starts. You’ll want to subscribe to this feed to get the updates. The reasoning can be summed up by a reader comment we received, saying that “it’s like a SHAPE magazine stuffed inside a Lucky”. We’re both flattered, and amused!
• The main GH blog is still located here, but it looks much different! We’ve created a customized GH area with pertinent Getting Healthy Girl info, also by request! You’ll find all their contact information on this page, and once their intro posts go up, you’ll be able to view their goals from their author pages. You can locate each girl’s author page by clicking their byline (i.e. the “By ___” note beneath each post title) in their posts. We’re still working on the sidebar content, so do be patient!

Mind you, we’re still (& constantly) improving the new Getting Healthy area. We really, really, really appreciate those of you who took the time to fill out our survey. While GH might be getting pretty large, we want to assure you that the main function of TheDemoiselles.com is still about fashion relating to body image, and overall wellness. We’re not going anywhere! All of your notes and tips are much appreciated, and will be put to good use.

Please feel free to continue sending us feedback via our info@thedemoiselles.com address! Or, if you prefer a little more anonymity, use our Contact page.

PS – Don’t forget about the Banglz giveaway! It ends on Wednesday! This contest has ended.

Sometimes, we just don’t care about our figures.

You heard us right: sometimes we don’t care that we’re hourglass figures.  Sometimes we feel like straight up and down girls, or pear-shaped, or apples.  Occasionally, we may even want to look…triangular.

Because that’s what clothes are supposed to do, right?

A good article of clothing not only accentuates your form, but also your mood.  Style isn’t defined by how you dress yourself within the limits of your body, but also how you stretch those limits, and take your clothing to more interesting depths.

Lately, we’ve been saying Yes! to a lot of our body type’s “no’s.”

Jennifer Nicole: When Market Clothing offered their first 100 Twitter followers a free t-shirt, I hemmed and hawed over which one to get.  Feeling daring, I settled on the Milla, or “boyfriend” tee: it was baggy, not form-fitting…and totally different from my usual style.  I’ve got this high, tiny waist – I need to show it off, right?  Otherwise I’d look…bigger than I am. (And society has taught me to dread that possibility.)

When the t-shirt came I immediately tore open the package and tossed it on.  “Honey, is this too big?” I asked my always honest, ever tactless boyfriend.  “A little, but it’s wearable.”  Wearable?  Well, then I’m going to do what I do with every new item of clothing: wear it immediately, and until I absolutely have to wash it. (I get excited easily.)

I decided to go really daring and wear it with the antithesis of waist definition: low rise, semi-baggy skinny jeans.

See my waist? Neither do I. It’s hidden beneath the (incredibly soft and comfortable) t-shirt.  I wore this outfit for an entire day – to a meeting, to coffee, to take the dog out to pee – and it felt amazing.

What was I expecting?  For people to point and stare because my waist wasn’t defined?  That someone I knew would think me unfashionable or ask if I gained weight?  Maybe.  But here’s the truth of it: I noticed just as many stares – those envious ones from girls and the predatory ones from guys – as I always do.  Only this time, I imagine that at least some of those stares had to do with how confident I was in a baggy t-shirt and jeans, instead of how big my butt is compared to my waist.

Miss Elle: My favorite departure from “fitted & flattering” is much the same as Jennifer’s. As much as I love a good waist-cinching, and some serious leg-lengthening… Sometimes, I just don’t wanna. Yeah, and guess what? That’s okay.

There are way, way, way too many styles of clothing out there for me to box myself in the “I need a waist and shapely curves” department. Loving clothing is about experiencing clothing, for me. So when Jennifer Nicole brought up this idea, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

My go-to outfit is simple: straight leg jeans, a loose top tucked into the front of said jeans, and some high heels. Ta-da, I’m dressed. Unfortunately for my body type… this outfit does nothing for it. I mean, I think I look fine – my legs look really nice – but my upper half (where all the *ahem* attention is usually directed…) is just a completely billowy blur.

The middle pictures shows exactly how loose this top is. The gigantic sleeves in combination with the general oversized-ness is, to me, tempered by the narrowness of the jeans. Plus, the addition of 3.5″ platform boots helps any shapelessness the top is contributing to. Tucking the shirt into the jeans in the front allows for some shape, but certainly not any “body conscious” shape.

Which I am completely okay with. The idea that women constantly need to “dress for their body type” is stifling when it comes to fashion. Does that mean a full figured woman can never wear a minidress? A skinny girl can’t wear a column gown? A pear girl can’t wear skinny jeans? C’mon.

What fun would that be?

How do you deviate from what you’re “supposed” to wear?