I love that the term “bodysnarking” was created by women who are finally starting to stand up for themselves, and others. I love the camaraderie and union that I witness in forums and on the street when someone pipes up (especially in public) about how there is injustice towards women’s (& men’s) bodies.
“Actually, all women have a real woman’s body… By definition.”
“It’s not a ‘bummer’ that she has that scar – it’s a piece of her, and she shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”
“You know what’s really hot – more than an hourglass or 24″ waist? Sassy, saucy confidence.”
It’s never comfortable to bring up a serious notion amidst a joke but as we know – many of our friends and loved ones are brainwashed, and not saying something is exactly what allows those icky ideas and expectations to continue rotting the brain of humanity. Ok, that was a little dramatic. (But just a little.)
Photo: FatFeministFitness
A lot of times, in order to deflect a bodysnarking situation, a do-gooder will compromise with a joke about something that’s not inherent to someone’s shape – their clothing. Unknowingly contributing to media standards, while attempting to prevent them.
“Oh, stop it. She’s not fat! But those pants aren’t proving it to anyone.“
“Well, I think that she has beautiful freckles. Doesn’t explain the shoes, though!“
Certainly, these types of comments don’t happen every time we stand up for our bodies in public… But the above examples are unfortunately the best case scenario, as most often, people fashion-snark for no reason other than to be humorous, inflate their fashion-knowledge-bubble, or cover up their own insecurities.
Don’t get me wrong, I recognize that calling out someone for interesting fashion choices is not necessarily on the same page as the cruelty of bodysnarking… Or is it?
Ok, out of all the people that could be chosen for this – Juilanne Moore? Are you serious?! Julianne Moore?!! PS – Remember girls, if your dress clashes with you “hotness”, you’re doing it wrong.
My main belief about fashion is that it’s purely self-expression – that’s what my site, Broke & Beautiful, is all about. It’s a self-expression much in the same way that performance art is expression, or music. Fashion, however, is the manifestation of you, your ideals, and your personal preferences on your body. And you don’t get a script, lyric sheet or choreography to accompany these things – you have to be yourself, and present yourself to the world with it! That’s pretty personal stuff, if you ask me.
This gets cloudy when we get to specific stuff – like say… Bjork. Not every “self-expression” has to be some grandiose, over the top, wearing-shoes-for-hats type of getup – to me, self-expression is the choice between wearing boots over jeans or flats, a button down or a ribbed tank, opaque tights or sheer… Tiny things, but all choices. Each choice is an opportunity to express. Make sense? Ok, fashion-preach-session over.
When I see posts – be they from retailers, style bloggers, or random people on Twitter/Facebook – that demean someone’s personal style, I pisses me off – it really does! Even more aggravating? When bodysnarking and fashion-snarking are combined (all text formats necessary to convey the horror of such a scene).
I was really bummed out to find that one of my favorite retailers had a blog with a series displaying only quips and comparisons between certain celebrity outfits and objects such as (but certainly not limited to): trash. Commentary regarding everything from age (beneath Madonna’s photo, “It’s Forever 21, not Forever 51.”) to marital status (under Christina Aguilera’s photo reads “By the looks of this outfit, Christina Augilera’s husband isn’t the only thing that wants out.”) is connected and commented upon by bloggers.
I mean, I get it. I get why retailers would employ this idea, I get why the tabloids do it… Unique, expressive people are taking risks in fashion, and since most of us are scared to venture outside the norm for fear of societal acceptance, we’d rather link arms with our fellow scaredycats, close our eyes tight, and hope that our giggles and catty remarks hide the fact that we only wish we could have the guts to be so comfortable with our body and aesthetic preferences. If we can turn it into something laughable, we won’t feel as jealous of those who willingly put their quirks out there for the world to see. God forbid we wear something that doesn’t perfectly flatter our waistline to make it as close to the 26″ ideal that it possibly can, or that our legs don’t look twice as long as our torso, or that we forget to slop on concealer in the morning and now everyone can see that – not only do we have pores, but our skin is not so evolved, fair and magical that it doesn’t excrete oils or become dry and God forbid we be imperfect, what will the world think of us then?
But I digress.
Is fashion-snarking rated up there with bodysnarking? We’re likely all guilty of relishing a “Worst Dressed” page in our time, but when you see them now, looking at it for what it really is – how does it make you feel?
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Negativity is negativity, no matter what it’s about. Criticizing others’ fashion is criticizing their choice of self-expression. It’s like criticizing someone for choosing to have short hair or be bald as a female, or long hair as a male. That’s, to some extent, controllable, but it’s still a part of their body and how they present themselves. It’s still mean.
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Posted by sui | January 11, 2011, 3:48 pmHonestly, I think it depends on the context. There is a difference between criticism and an offense. The intent of one is to be constructive, whether or not it is agreed with. The other is a blow against someone. It could be a casual, catty remark, or a dig at someone’s known weakness/insecurity.
Regardless, when we start framing “criticism” in a manner that makes it almost indistinguishable from an an “offense”, we have a problem on our hands.
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Posted by Cals | January 11, 2011, 5:25 pmDebacle: Bodysnarking = No; Fashion-Snarking = Different? http://t.co/XnXBkAA
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Posted by Jai Marshall | January 12, 2011, 3:32 amFirst of all, that picture is amazing.
I definitely see the connection you’re making. And I’ll admit, I do read Go Fug Yourself and laugh sometimes, and you can tell that they actually want people to dress crazy, because if nobody did, fashion would be boring. But the fashion snarking I have issues with is exactly what you touched on – snark that’s actually about people’s bodies or age. It especially bugs me that women aren’t “supposed” to wear certain fashions once they’re out of their twenties. That’s crazy and makes me really mad.
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Posted by Erika @ Health and Happiness in LA | January 13, 2011, 3:43 amI think the two are very similar, because both body- and fashion-snarking have to do with making someone an object, and feeling that we (those doing the judging) have the right to say what is beautiful, fashionable, etc. This is one of the reasons that I have an ambivalent relationship with fashion. Fun to look at, but also potentially damaging.
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Posted by Dana Udall-Weiner | January 13, 2011, 8:41 amDebacle: Bodysnarking = No; Fashion-Snarking = Different? http://goo.gl/Xl5ob
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Posted by Athena Fotiadis | January 17, 2011, 3:16 amI think fashion-snarking is less severe than body-snarking. With fashion-snarking- it’s about clothes. The clothes are not you- you may use it to create an image or impression of who you are, but at the ed of the day: it’s not you. So if someone doesn’t like your shoes, it’s easy to shrug off- we don’t all have the same tastes & preferences afterall.
Body-snarking, on the other hand, is a direct offense to your physical self, which ultimately can have a painful effects on your soul self. This is especially devastating because if you wanted to, you can exchange the shoes no one likes for another pair, but you can’t trade in your body (or rather you shouldn’t succumb to changing it through plastic surgery). If you are naturally a curvy size 8- you cannot change that, and the insult striking your ego is taken to heart.
xx.
Judy
really great, thought-provoking post!
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Posted by Judy | January 18, 2011, 8:04 pmI think it’s an interesting topic. My mom gets on to me all the time if she doesn’t think I don’t match. I enjoy wearing what I like and what’s comfortable. If it’s not ‘in’ or doesn’t flatter my body, oh well. I wear it because I LIKE IT. A woman shouldn’t spend her time trying to please those around her. In a society that bases worth on sexual attractivness, it’s hard to be an individual. And let’s face it. Sex is everywhere. I’m 19 years old and a proud virgin. I don’t put dating above my academics and it doesn’t bother me that I don’t have a boyfriend. There are more important things. I wear jeans, funny t-shirts and funky colored socks. And I’m happy.
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Posted by Raito | February 5, 2012, 11:51 am