Definition (Merriam-Webster): attractive or pretty, especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way.

Fashion Faux Pas: “Cute” is for puppies and infants, not socially-accepted, beautiful women.  No supermodel has ever been cute unless it’s in a kitschy, odd way…in fashion, ”cute” is the kiss of death.

…But Maybe It Ain’t All Bad: The c-word is long-lasting: you can be cute into old age, whereas some other types of beauty don’t last as long.  It’s also an obvious, honest statement – it’s hard to take “you’re so cute!” as a backhanded compliment.

The Demoiselles have both been bombarded, past and present, with the phrase, “You’re so cute!”  Some people take it as a compliment, while others mourn their seemingly bland features.  We decided to muse on the idea of cute, and whether or not we want to own it or toss it aside (and both are options!).

Elle’s Thoughts: I remember “cute”… The imagery that springs to mind is an awkward, self-misunderstood late teen who used awkwardness and a healthy amount of hunched shoulders to attempt to be as unnoticeable as possible. Because of my hands neatly tucked inside the sleeves of my hoodie, combined with the mousey-meek expression I typically had (especially around people I didn’t know) – I was dubbed “cute.” Not “fiery” or “striking”… Cute. Cute like a mouse, cute like a kitty, cute like… a baby?

While, yes, at the time I took whatever compliments I was handed (not without some seriously awkward blushing and eye-contact-avoidance), I secretly loathed that “cute” was a byproduct of my completely obvious lack of confidence. As I started to grow into myself and figure out who I was (and wanted to be), I started realizing… I don’t want to be the same “cute” girl I was throughout junior high and high school – I wanted to complimented on other visible aspects of my personality. I wanted people to see that I was intelligent, creative, opinionated, independent… Not “cute”. “Cute” sounds like such a dependence-based word to me – you wouldn’t call a strong, independent, self-assured woman cute. You just wouldn’t!

So nowadays, when my darling boyfriend comments on an outfit and includes the aforementioned adjective – it’s less of a sweet nothing and more of an urge to go back to the drawing board. When I’m 95 and hunching over in a wheelchair, cute might be a little more appealing, but as a vibrant, industrious, 20-something… Cute is not exactly what I’m going for.

Jennifer Nicole’s Thoughts: I also spent many of my teenage years being called “cute,” but it wasn’t due to my self-confidence issues, which I hid behind some serious Napoleon-like bravado.  No, it was all because of my damnable features – the big eyes, that wide smile, and yes, my little five-foot frame - that put ideas of childhood antics and blanket forts in people’s heads.  Hell, those thoughts were often in my head, too.  (I LOVE blanket forts.)

I wasn’t sure I liked looking like a child, though.  To me, cute seemed like an insult when compared with words like beautiful, gorgeous, and the ever-pubescent frickin’ hot. How could I compete with that?

Avoiding the “cute look” at all costs, I chopped off my hair, wore killer heels and started cussing like a sailor.  It didn’t really help, though: I had become “that girl you don’t want to cross” (according to my friends) but, somehow, I was still “cute” about it.  So wait: I still wasn’t hot, and I was alienating myself from my friends?  That’s a step backward…

Eventually I realized that my face is just plain “cute” – it just is - and I can own it, or I can fight it for the rest of my life.  From then on I started ignoring that fear of being un-sexy and childlike, and started incorporating the parts of cute I did like: mischievous smiles under perfectly-waxed brows; vintage lace and bows with modernized mary jane pumps; and even *gasp!* straight-across bangs.

What’s funny is that the moment I started owning my cute, I started being called other things - beautiful, sexy – and my confidence got a big boost.  So I don’t mind cute anymore…as long as it’s not the only thing that defines me.

Have you been referred to as cute? Or, perhaps, another word that makes you cringe? Share it with us in the comments!

<div class=\"postavatar\"></div>

To contact Lindsay Ginn or Jennifer Nicole, you can send an e-mail to Info@TheDemoiselles.com.

Browse Timeline

• « Tell us about your favorite bra!
• » Out of the Nest: My Long Nose

Comments ( 19 )

Add a Comment