If you’re a regular reader of The Demoiselles, you’ve probably noticed that it’s been a little dead in here.

First of all: we know, and we’re sorry.   Though the Getting Healthy project is well underway, and the new girls are kicking some serious ass at both getting healthy and getting their posts up each week, the the two of us – a.k.a. The Demoiselles themselves – haven’t been nearly as productive.

You can blame it on stress, or on “real life,” or on new projects but the fact is that right now, neither of us are focusing on our body types, self esteem or beauty issues.

But there’s something to learn from every experience, and because you can always count on us to dissect a real life situation into it’s tiniest details:

What Happens When The Demoiselles Quit Thinking About Body Positivity?

Lindsay’s Story: This is the first time in my entire life that I haven’t been at least partially consumed with body image issues. It’s a bit novel, really – I don’t quite know what to do with myself. When I catch myself in the mirror, post-shower, and don’t cringe… I almost cringe at the not-cringing. It’s a strange feeling.

As some of you may have gathered via Twitter and/or B&B – my life has kind of taken a gi-freaking-gantic turn over the last two months. M

y nearly-three-year relationship came to a semi-ugly close, I moved in with some [wonderful!] strangers, and lost my less-than-wonderful job. It was quite the explosion of catastrophe and man – was I ever the opposite of “prepared.” If you talk with your friends online, you’ll surely know this face:

That was me for about 1.5 months. No excuse, I know… But it was the most cathartic, lost, and bewildering time of my entire life. After much stewing, arguing with myself, and some slight moping, I’ve managed to ostracize myself completely from the things that matter to me – The Demoiselles being an unfortunate casualty. This has not only lead to further blog-depression, but also the demise of my awareness. These are not good things.

Fortunately, (yes, there’s an upside) I’m coming out of it. I’ve separated myself from the poison, and I’ve regained my strength. I’m poking my head out of the hole and seeing that – hey, it’s almost summer. Hey, we have great readers and friends and supporters. Getting Healthy is booming right now (check it out, seriously), and there’s no longer a reason to ignore. No more shutting things out, it’s time for some diving.

Jen’s Story: You know what makes me feel gross?  Apathy.

When things get really hard – and they’ve been more than a little tough these past few months – I become very focused on just getting through the day.  I go to work; I do my job.  I come home; I do laundry; I clip the dog’s nails.  I “talk it out” with the people I love, and wait for the storm to pass.  As long as I see a light at the end of the tunnel, this coping mechanism keeps me focused – so when I finally get to the end of the tunnel, my life isn’t piled up, waiting for me.

Sometimes, though, the tunnel just gets longer…and as strong as we think we are, us humans just can’t cope with prolonged pain and stress as well as we think.

That’s where my coping mechanism breaks down: I spend so much time focusing on “getting by” that I don’t have the energy to do all that positive work that makes me feel good about getting by. I still go to work, but my pants feel too tight and my posture sucks.  I come home and do laundry, but don’t stop to think which outfits will keep me feeling sexy, or smart, or even just happy.  And metabolism-boosting, mood-elevating exercise?  Please. It’s raining and I’m sleepy and I don’t wanna talk about it.

That same coping mechanism has kept me from any and all inspiration as a Demoiselle.  I have seen a couple of interesting articles, but none have wowed me or made me think.  I even have a few drafts for fashion-related posts in the arsenal, but nothing I  couldn’t live without.  My coping mechanism led toward apathy, and that apathy led toward feeling gross about my own body….which led to more apathy about writing as a Demoiselle.  How am I supposed to dress anyone else if I can’t dress myself?

Duh.  I can’t.

Now that I’m noticing it, it’s time for a change.  My friend Michelle (of Getting Healthy fame) is dragging me out of the house for a run once a week, and in the mean time, I’m going through my closet and hiding all of the clothes that don’t fit.  (They just make me feel worse.)  I’m even trading sugar cravings for crunches (twenty-five) and salt cravings for push-ups (ten, because I’m a wuss).  I’m not going to fool myself – my life is still really crazy right now, and these changes aren’t an immediate cure-all – but it’s nice to know I have a plan to act on.

When you get busy or stressed out, do you feel better about your body, or worse?
How do you deal with it?

Photo: weheartit

To contact Jennifer Nicole, the author of this post, please send e-mails to jen@thedemoiselles.com or use our contact form.

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