I Had a Fat Day
I woke up on Saturday morning feeling that familiar dread. My legs felt all squishy and big; nothing fit right; my proportions were totally off…I knew that feeling. I’d felt it before. It was a fat day.
So I got up, opened my closet doors, and put this on:
One of the first times I wore these shorts, I was reviewing the 80%20 wedges Elle, Birdie and I purchased a few months ago. I chose them because, after gaining a little weight and losing definition in my thighs, they were totally in the realm of Preventative Fear – completely out of my comfort zone. But being a Demoiselle, to me, is all about challenging my comfort zone. (I can’t ask you to do it if I don’t!)
The idea of short shorts and bright orange “look at me!” wedges was pretty overwhelming, but I did it anyway, and it started something within me. Now, every time I’m having a “fat day” or I’m self conscious about some part of my body, I do my best to embrace it.
When was the last time you had a fat day (or the equivilent thereof)? What did you do to combat it?
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I have a fat day every day, and that’s okay. Being fat isn’t something to be ashamed of, or looked down on. And just so you know, fat girls can rock it.
For some people, a “fat day” is more like a “fat life”. Lots of those people aren’t in love with their bodies, so “fat day” language can often be seen as negative and maybe pejorative.
I really strongly suggest for all your readers to look more into the fat-o-sphere (Google it! You’ll be amazed at what’s out there) to develop a deeper understanding of body image issues, and fat issues, so problematic language can be examined. It’s pretty challenging, I won’t lie, if you’ve grown up othering “fatness”.
Every day for me, personally, is a fat day. My solution is not everyone’s solution, but I am dedicated to looking fancy on the regular. Finding a garment that subverts accepted standards of “fashion” also really does it for me – and I can see that the author (sorry, I can’t see your name anywhere!) is totally jiving with that too
I wear skinny jeans a lot lately, just because people tell me I shouldn’t, and I look phenomenal.
Natalie´s last blog ..Bits and pieces (including but not limited to stuff and nonsense)
Maybe the trick is to say “I’m having a FAT DAY! Yay! I get to wear whatever the hell I like and be fancy. What shall I do?
”
You look pretty cool in there anyway, so it seems even your initial doubt about fat days worked out for you
Makin’ it positive 
Tiara´s last blog ..The Class/Privilege Checklist [1]
How cool to wake up to such a lively debate! Thank you for commenting, ladies – I’m glad you feel comfortable speaking your mind on the site. It always makes me feel good to see differing opinions.
As far as I’ve seen, anyone can have a “fat day” – skinny people, overweight people, curvy or “flat as a board” people – and I would rather that, when someone Googles “how to dress on a fat day” they come to a site telling them to wear their shortest shorts instead of one that calls them ugly. Some of the fattest people I know have the least fat days – their positive body image and focus on a healthy lifestyle (as opposed to a socially-accepted weight) is an inspiration to me!
I think that, just as the fat-o-sphere asks that people consider the circumstances that cause them to be fat and the intention of their pride in the fat community, they should consider the circumstances of the phrasing used and the intention of this post, which were to convey that we should celebrate our bodies, especially when we succumb to those negative stereotypes – to fat days.
To me, I’m not fat. Ask me 5 years ago (hell, 2 years ago!) if I was fat, and you’d have received tears and a confirmation in the place of an answer.
These days, I can honestly say that I do not think I’m fat. However, that doesn’t stop me from cracking fat jokes about myself (as I am “technically” overweight), and I definitely still have fat days. I view myself as a recovered fat girl, though I’ve only maybe lost 15 lbs in the last year, and still shop at plus sized stores from time to time.
Fat, to me, is no longer a dirty word. A fat day is a day where I’m feeling down on myself, and thusly a remedy (similar to Jennifer Nicole’s remedy of dressing to expose the self-conscious side of yourself) is applied. How can that possibly be negative?
I think everyone from a 98lb. girl to a 400+ lb. man can have a fat day – it’s all perception. The less power we give to the word “fat”, the less we are affected by it and I, for one, will never view that word negatively again.
It’s three letters, and I don’t even like the letter F that much to begin with.
Hmm… I think I’m going to have to side with not using the word in that way. In my mind, it’s like saying “I had a black day” or “I had an Asian day,” things we wouldn’t say either because 1) it’s not really appropriate and/or 2) what does that really mean? What does having a “fat” day really mean?
Inadvertently, the point was just made that “fat” directly translates to feeling uncomfortable about your body. So for someone who is a fat person, that basically says that they feel uncomfortable every day or that fatness, inherently, is uncomfortable and causes insecurity. In fact, I’ll draw another correlation: it’s like the term “gay.” Not many people MEAN that they think homosexuality is negative when they use that term, but because of the way they use it (“that’s so gay”) that meaning automatically is created and reinforced. I feel it’s the same thing here.
I know that it’s onerous to say “I had a woke-up-feeling-not-so-hot-about-my-body-because-of-xyz day” — it’d be nicer to use a catchy phrase — but it just doesn’t work, and is harmful.
Like Natalie above, I love the message of the post (fuck what you’re “supposed” to do and dress how you want despite insecurities because it will help eliminate them), but I can’t get on board with the terms. Sorry gals. (Know I love you though!)
Kristy´s last blog ..EatsandInterests.com
I think that the realm we’re delving into, here, is a question of political correctness: what’s appropriate vs. what’s over-sensitive vs. what’s common vernacular.
Let me preface this next comment by saying that I am fully aware that one can be healthy and fat at the same time. A close family member has polycystic ovarian syndrome, and is unable to lose weight. She is considered healthy, yet obese, by her doctors, and part of what inspired this post is her choice to call herself fat (as a neutral or positive and wholly accurate descriptor) and admit that she has “fat days” (as a negative, commonly used phrase).
With that said, comparing race and sexuality, which are inherent, to weight, which is mutable and in most cases caused by poor health, is oversensitive and, in my opinion, a cop-out.
I agree that the word “fat” can be hurtful in this society, but I think it’s rude to insinuate that it’s in any way comparable to racism, sexism or homosexual prejudice.
Jennifer Nicole´s last blog ..I Had a Fat Day
The point I am trying to make is that fat can be an identity term just like gay, black, etc.
Fatness is not necessarily caused by poor health. I think our society suffers from an over-medicalization of fatness as well as over-zealous definitions of “health.” We automatically assume that all fat people are either unhealthy because of their weight, or that their weight is a result of a medical problem, but in many people neither of these are the case. We have to realize that the medical world is used by society (shaping it and being shaped by it) to define and marginalize people — many time illegitimately. With something like fatness this may be hard to realize, but it might be easier to see my point with something like being gay. Homosexuality was a disease for decades, thought of as a very, very legitimate medical problem — by almost everyone, even gay people — before we decided that it definitely is not a disease and that the medical world needed to be rethought on that subject. Transexuality is STILL defined as a medical disorder. In the same way, fatness is considered by the majority of people, even fat people, as a medical problem. But I firmly believe that this is the case.
Medical standards are not always right and they should not be the end-all of all arguments. Many fat people are NOT unhealthy at all. A majority of fat people spend their whole lives fat and die at a normal age, their death not having to do with fatness. Many people who aren’t fat die from the same things that fat people do — but no one ever compares these things.
So yes, I do think that singling out an identity and using it synonymously with a negative isn’t appropriate — “PC” or otherwise — and yes, can definitely be as discriminatory as these other things. We just don’t think about it in that way yet — just like how in the past we didn’t think twice about mild discrimination of some other groups I’ve mentioned. But I don’t think I’m being oversensitive, or even rude, at all.
I’m not trying to single you out as a horrible person — thinking like this about fatness is a very new, and (risking sounding pompous) mostly still an academic thing. Over the past 3-5 years it has become more and more accepted as a legit way to think about fatness and that fat people are discriminated against just like other groups have been in the past. However, as a society, most people don’t think in this way, and have never even thought to — even I hadn’t thought to until I had a roommate thinking in this way (her senior thesis was comparing fat suits to blackface).
But it does mean that now that I do think in this way I am an aggressive advocate about it. I think that the entire way we think about weight needs not just a change, but a huge overhaul. I guess you could consider me very much a radical when it comes to this subject.
Kristy´s last blog ..EatsandInterests.com
I agree with your assertions about fat not being directly related to health in all cases. However, these assertions are used as an excuse on both sides of the issue, especially in the US: there are people who call all fat people unhealthy (they’re not) and people who say fat has nothing to do with health (it does).
I cannot count the number of communities, blogs and posts I’ve read that promote eating unhealthy foods, being sedentary and “staying fat” as a valid and healthy “lifestyle choice,” and who attack bloggers that enjoy working out, eating balanced meals and challenging their bodies to be at their (perceived) peak condition. Their soapbox is precariously placed on a complete logical fallacy. (So is the soapbox for the “all fat is bad fat” group.)
This brings me back to the main point of this post, and the drive of The Demoiselles: we are here to convince all those girls that feel negative about their bodies that they can combat those feelings – and that they don’t need a degree to do it. Most of the above commenters don’t need to hear what we’re saying, but many, many other people do. When someone Googles “how to deal with a fat day” they’re looking for a solution, not a diatribe on the correct use of the term. The title and key words of this post cater to those people – ones who think being fat is inherently a bad thing – and because of that, I wouldn’t change the wording in the slightest.
…because if I didn’t use the words “fat day,” almost no one who needs this post would ever read it.
There’s an interesting article on 39th and Broadway on a similar topic, about Beth Ditto and out obsession with extremes of body size.
http://www.39thandbroadway.com/fatty-porker-chubby-heifer/
I don’t think I’ve worn shorts since the day 7 years ago when I was walking to the shop and a bloke shouted “CELLULITE!” out of a passing car.
Retro Chick´s last blog ..Je Suis Jaloux
That is such a good article – in fact, it’s referenced in another Demoiselles post, Calling All Extremists (http://thedemoiselles.com/archives/calling-all-extremists).
As far as those shorts go, I think you should pull them back out. The guy that yelled at you is likely insecure about something himself…others are just mature enough not to make him feel bad about it.
Jennifer Nicole´s last blog ..I Had a Fat Day
People are absolutely unbelievable. Cheers to not listening to those who bring us down!
@definatalie I predict you’ll have strong words about this @TheDemoiselles article: http://is.gd/1xbJ3
Just commented on the debate at @TheDemoiselles latest post, about "fat days." What does it mean? Is "fat" a dirty word? http://is.gd/1xbJ3
I’m 5’7″, weigh 170 lbs. and wear a size 12 and practically LIVE in shorts. I think “fat” is just a state of mind. If you believe you’re sexy, you are. I’ve never stopped myself from wearing anything because I was “too fat”.
Hmm, today’s my fat day. But it wasn’t a fat day until I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh in as soon as I woke up to find out I gained 4.2 pounds! Is it me or is it the 73% humidity outside??
Needless to say I cursed and fumed, went for a walk and then put on a cute little sundress which, oddly, didn’t fit at the beginning of the summer. So my scale says it’s a fat day. The dress says otherwise.
NancyJ´s last blog ..Nine Months From Now…