Do you have kids? Siblings? A boyfriend or girlfriend? Impressionable roommates?
When you look in the mirror, what do they see?
When I was little, I remember my mother’s nude body shimmying as she stepped out of the shower. I remember how comfortable she seemed in her skin, and how I always saw beauty within her, when she was thin, when she was heavy, when she lost her breasts to cancer.
I remember my little sister and her friends watching my group intently during sleepovers, until one day one of them asked how she could “make boys like her.” What could she do to her hair? Should she get rid of her glasses? Was her body attractive enough or should she buy a padded bra?
She was thirteen.
I remember a set of roommates, a few years ago, that would write each other notes on their bathroom mirror about how smart, kind, and beautiful they were. I remember that they had a house rule: no body image self-criticism. Their bodies were temples, and though sometimes they made a mess of those temples – drinking, smoking, emotional eating – they deserved respect and ritual. They deserved one time, every day, to be adored.
Next time you’re standing in front of the mirror, watch the way you react. It’s possible that all that scowling and pinching is affecting more than just your self image.
Who have you looked up to, and how did their body image affect yours?
Images found, in order, here, here, here and here.
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thank you, demoiselles, for always giving me something to think about.
my mother never seemed particularly comfortable in her skin; my sister compares herself to others and proclaims she’s too fat. (but not too self-deprecatingly. really.)
one girl I do look up to is a girl I barely know. she’s comfortable with her body and sexuality and isn’t afraid to show it. she always seems confident. granted, she has a ridiculous body (thin but not too thin, tall, great hair) but even then, some girls like that might not always seem confident.. but she doesn’t care what other people thinks, she has her priorities, and one can tell. I know a few girls who are envious of her and feel sad that they don’t look like her, but I instead look to her as someone to emulate. constant self-confidence, clarity, and comfortableness.
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Posted by sui | July 8, 2010, 8:27 amI just blogged about this yesterday. As women we need to embrace our bodies and be grateful for the journey they take us on. http://jillofalltrades-acraftymomsworld.blogspot.com/2010/07/every-bodys-different.html
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Posted by KelsyC | July 8, 2010, 11:48 am@ The Demoiselles :: Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling?:
Do you have kids? Siblings? A boyfriend or gir… http://bit.ly/9RleIM
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Posted by The Demoiselles | July 8, 2010, 12:01 pmGot kids, roommates, or siblings? Please read this. RT @TheDemoiselles: Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling? http://bit.ly/bBCTzP
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Posted by Jennifer Nicole | July 8, 2010, 3:47 pmhttp://thedemoiselles.com/archives/negative-body-image-who-are-you-fooling
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Posted by Kristy Hogue | July 8, 2010, 4:28 pmMy mom has always had really positive body image – she focuses on the things her body can do, rather than on the details of what it looks like. So she’s always been a good example for me, but it also did mean that she doesn’t understand my insecurities very well, just because she’s never had them.
Middle school was definitely the age when appearance became super-important, and the tiny cheerleaders embodied what we should all look like. I think lots of people’s body image and self esteem takes a tank in middle school.
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Posted by Erika @ Health and Happiness in LA | July 8, 2010, 4:57 pmRT @TheDemoiselles: Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling? http://bit.ly/bBCTzP
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Posted by Lindsay | July 8, 2010, 7:09 pmBody Image: Who Are You Fooling? via The Demoiselles http://om.ly/njEd – remember love the body you got because it rocks http://om.ly/njEe
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Posted by lingerie.com | July 8, 2010, 7:22 pmBody Image: Who Are You Fooling? via The Demoiselles http://om.ly/njxH – remember love the body you got because it rocks http://om.ly/njxI
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Posted by lingerie.com | July 8, 2010, 11:18 pmMy mom has a beautiful body. She’s an inch taller than me at 5’11, she has beautiful curves despite being quite thin and is dotted with moles and freckles that I only wish I had, and she has beautiful tiny breasts(she wears my training bras from grade 7!) very unlike my own bags of sugar. She’s also aging very gracefully. The girls I know once mentioned that my mom looked great for 45. She was 57 at the time.
She loves and respects her body and has always taught me to do the same. I’m glad for that. I’m glad I got that lesson early.
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Posted by Georgia | July 9, 2010, 12:23 amBody Image: Who Are You Fooling? via The Demoiselles http://om.ly/nkio – remember love the body you got because it rocks http://om.ly/nkip
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Posted by lingerie.com | July 9, 2010, 3:20 amBody Image: Who Are You Fooling? via The Demoiselles http://om.ly/nlMa – remember love the body you got because it rocks http://om.ly/nlMb
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Posted by lingerie.com | July 9, 2010, 7:19 amBody Image: Who Are You Fooling? via The Demoiselles http://om.ly/nlMa – remember love the body you got because it rocks http://om.ly/nlMb
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Posted by lingerie.com | July 9, 2010, 7:19 amI want to give my daughter a beautiful example as your mother gave you. Love this
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Posted by Tina Scott www.afrotina.com | July 9, 2010, 7:10 pmSo true…
"Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling? http://shar.es/mFjzR"
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Posted by Celina D-H | July 10, 2010, 5:27 amthis is a great post. even though my mom loves her body, i don’t know who i look up to when it comes to body image. all i know is that i am finally starting to love my body. it started 2 years ago when i could actually look at myself and say i look good, but i really love my body.
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Posted by thefatandskinny | July 11, 2010, 9:04 pmOver at The Demoiselles we see the post "Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling?" http://bit.ly/c6PlZi
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Posted by Fierce Fatty | July 14, 2010, 1:00 amRT @fiercefatties: Over at The Demoiselles we see the post "Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling?" http://bit.ly/c6PlZi
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Posted by novamoonlight | July 14, 2010, 1:03 amRT @TheDemoiselles: Negative Body Image: Who Are You Fooling? http://bit.ly/bBCTzP
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Posted by Kinsey Oleman | July 14, 2010, 8:03 pmOh this is gorgeous – I love that your pictures really paint the words that most of us just say! Negative body image is the curse of our generation I think, with far wider health and wellbeing implications than is usually recognised. You’re absolutely right – what we do has such profound influences on people around us, some we don’t even know are paying attention…. That’s not to say we should be so self-conscious about what we do in case it negatively impacts on others, it’s more about being the example we’d have liked to have, perhaps? It’s not easy, but it is doable! I have a free ten day (absoutely no strings attached!) course to help you do this – come along and try it. The change can only start with *you*!
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Posted by Sandy | August 19, 2010, 5:40 pm