People are afraid to be as awesome as they can be, because they’re afraid they’ll stand out in a bad way. And we’re taught that’s a bad thing, just like we’re taught not to “brag” or talk ourselves up for fear of hurting someone whose down or tempting someone into bringing us down. Society has some truly fucked up expectations at time I think…

“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Nelson Mandela

Also, Lady Gaga? What a fantastic moment of eloquent honesty.
.-= Erin @ Fierce Beagle´s last blog ..New look, same great flavor =-.

Only now have I started to take my friends’ compliments seriously. After all, if people keep telling you the same thing, it means that they see the same reality, and shared realities are not delusions. Like Carly commented, some might think you’re not respecting their opinion if you roughly brush away their compliments. I certainly feel hurt for my friends when they brush away mine.

Like you mentioned, complimenting others when I genuinely feel that they did something well does help. Besides that, you can instantly see the effect you have on their day, even if they are slightly bewildered at first.

Franca does have a point, though. I feel guilty accepting compliments when I honestly feel that I haven’t actually done much to deserve it. (This applies especially for results I get from last-minute cramming), and praise for something I actually try hard at feels much sweeter.

I guess the key to this, as with everything, is balance. How do we balance the way we think about ourselves versus the way we feel we ought to feel? How do we balance what we think versus what others tell us?
I’m still looking for mine.

Why tell someone they’re wrong for speaking frankly if they’re not being mean or rude? Continual bragging makes someone a bore of course, but acknowledging our strengths shouldn’t be discouraged. We shouldn’t feel the need to talk ourselves down in front of others.

Women in particular are discouraged from speaking positively about themselves. It’s not ladylike or polite. Ugh, bite me. If it were more socially acceptable to have a positive self image maybe we’d be less susceptible to fear- and shame-based manipulation by advertisers or individuals.

Sometimes I’d like it if more people responded “thanks. and I know, right?” when told “you look nice” or “good job”. LOL.

On a personal level, if things come easy to you maybe you could try to challenge yourself more than usual. Pick one or two subjects and really, really apply yourself. See how hard you can work, what level you can reach, how successful you can be. Or you could turn your natural abilities to mentoring others. But I don’t think you need to hide your shine.
.-= E and O´s last blog ..the wild high and low =-.

it’s even insulting to some when you compliment them and they diss it by saying “oh, well, it’s easy” or “nooo i’m not” , it’s like a smack in the face and i’ve gotten this before when i try and compliment someone. don’t let her brush it off – agreed! get in her face and tell her her response was sort of rude, and you don’t appreciate it.

i loved this post, jen. especially this – Your innate talents – perfect pitch, the ability to sketch a masterpiece in minutes, a naturally strong, healthy body – are no less special because you didn’t “work” on them. When you devalue your natural abilities, you devalue yourself. If you have a talent, be proud of it. If you’ve got a great body, flaunt it. And if you’ve created something you’re proud of, don’t hide it. Embrace it.

but i just wanted to say that i think humility actually means seeing yourself as equal to others. not better because you have this great talent, and not less than, either. i think it means that you know you are a great singer, friend, pianist, etc, but you don’t brag or puff up your chest in order to make others feel inferior. i dont know if this makes sense. just some thoughts.

RT @TheDemoiselles: New TD post by @craftyasparagus! RT @TheDemoiselles Pride & Self-Prejudice | The Demoiselles http://bit.ly/6VM3rO

Be proud of you…even if it was easy. RT @TheDemoiselles Pride & Self-Prejudice | The Demoiselles http://bit.ly/6VM3rO

RT @TheDemoiselles: New TD post by @craftyasparagus! Pride & Self-Prejudice | The Demoiselles http://bit.ly/6VM3rO