If you ask any catty office workers, high school misfits, or fashion-conservative connoisseurs, they will tell you that the best way to go from looking really chic to really, really tacky is to over-sexy-fy yourself.
This is a delicate topic… Lines within the “sexy” realm are easily blurred, erased and completely re-drawn – sometimes all within 3 months. So how is a girl to know if she’s fully “appropriate”? Whose definition of “sexy” is being used this week? Is it “tight pencil skirt & blouse” sexy, or “miniskirt with tights and a button down shirt”? There’s no compass through the mixed up world of perception.
That boyfriend tee just lost a few points by turning from full length to crop-top, but yet that corset-topped pencil dress is extremely elegant and chic. That strapless top is a helluva lot more acceptable than those ripped tights (and no, it’s not cool that you ripped them at home, and yes, we know you did). So where is the finite line? The “rock bottom’ you can casually step on top of and look up from?
Here’s the secret - it’s you.
Unfortunately, a lesson that many women don’t learn until, well, later than they should is that sexy doesn’t work unless you feel sexy in whatever you’re wearing.
So, no – that pair of skin-tight leather pants won’t work, because if it’s making you walk like a cowboy and your thighs are sticking to the inside – it’s going to look weird. Yes, it will – I’m sorry, but it will. However, if you throw on your favorite pencil skirt and that oh-so-slightly sheer secretary blouse you always wear with a camisole – throw on a black bra underneath and caution to the wind – as long as you’re comfortable, it’s going to work.
Much like the concerning woman I came across a few weeks ago, if you’re running your wardrobe by other people’s rules, you’re always going to look like crap. If you’re doing the “sexy” that Cosmo tells you to do, you’re not doing a service to yourself, your body or your style by copping someone else’s interpretation – get your own! Fashion is made to be personal, and if we don’t stop blindly gazing upon whatever is marked “sexy” in the latest news, fashion becomes homogenous and that’s gross. If we’re all supposed to look the same, what’s the point?
So, tell me – what clothes make you feel sexy? How can you incorporate what makes you feel sexy into your wardrobe?
For me, like my example above, I am all about sheer. I love it! I need some more attractive undergarments to use before going too crazy with it, but I love the idea! I’m also very attracted to lingerie-inspired pieces – the silk camisole with the lace trim, the satin robe, the lace leggings… I love it all.
And you?
loading...
Too right, you. Sexy means something different to each of us, and trying to follow some magazine-endorsed formula is ALWAYS gonna backfire.
I feel sexiest in retro-secretary style looks, like a few of the ones you’re describing. Pencil skirt, silky blouses, fishnets, and pumps.
.-= Sally´s last blog ..How to Do Formal When it’s FREEZING =-.
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Sally | December 28, 2009, 4:24 pmI just wrote a post about this called The New Age of Sexy — in my CommentLuv link
It’s all about how women are redefining sexy to them, and wearing tougher clothing to reflect that confidence rather than conventionally sexy items
.-= Serena from Style on a String´s last blog ..The New Age of Sexy =-.
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Serena from Style on a String | December 28, 2009, 5:16 pm@ The Demoiselles :: Sexy: Approach With Caution: If you ask any catty office workers, high school misfits, or fash… http://bit.ly/6JVJLk
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by The Demoiselles | December 28, 2009, 7:55 pmRT @TheDemoiselles Sexy: Approach With Caution http://bit.ly/8jv7nu
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Jen | December 28, 2009, 9:23 pmSexy: Approach With Caution | The Demoiselles: So how is a girl to know if she's fully “appropriate”? Whose.. http://bit.ly/6BN3c5
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Mary Morrow | December 29, 2009, 7:40 amA thought popped into my head and it reminded me of this post, so I figured I share it here.
I realized that I have very rarely ever thought, “I want to look sexy” when getting dressed. Nearly every time what’s going through my head is actually, “I want to look put-gether.” Put-together might mean anything from wild to classic depending on the circumstances. Which is not to say that I didn’t manage to look sexy as well, but the point is that “sexy” was not the goal.
And I think that’s the key.
Whenever someone *tries* to be sexy it typically goes very wrong, precisely because they’re trying. The result looks contrived, tacky, and/or heavy-handed. Likely for the reasons you’ve mentioned here: they’re trying to replicate some cartoon image of what they’re *told* is sexy, or trying to be someone else’s version of sexy.
When really the truth is that we’re all inherently sexy in our own way. All we need to do is dress well (meaning good-fitting clothing that flatters our form) and by default there’s always the sexy element there. Some people have an overtly sexual personality so their style will have a stronger or more obvious “sexy” vibe; while others prefer to keep their sexuality more private so their style will have much more subtle tones of “sexy.”
In short: if we feel good about ourselves we exude a confidence that is sexy.
.-= E and O´s last blog ..the wild high and low =-.
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by E and O | January 6, 2010, 5:26 pmPara eso, de ser sexy! http://thedemoiselles.com/archives/sexy-approach-with-caution
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Anita Vibratta | February 10, 2010, 5:42 pmI think this is something that takes foreign men some adjustment when they go to Ukraine. Women from Ukraine are very comfortable looking sexy. Short skirts. Low cut blouses. Especially after long cold winters!
[Reply]
loading...
Posted by Oksana | April 6, 2011, 5:11 am