I recently met with a trainer – you know, one of those free sessions you get for joining a gym – to discuss my “workout goals” and how to reach them.
When he asked for my goal weight I said, “Something like 125. I mean, that’s a soft goal. I’m not sure where my body will be at 125, so I don’t know…”
He looked over my current weight, height and measurements, and then he leveled with me.
“You have to decide what body you want. Once you truly commit, you’ll get there. Just make sure you commit to what you actually want, not what’s easy or what you think you can do, or a routine that doesn’t fit your lifestyle.”
And that trainer, he got me thinking.
“Marilyn Monroe with Barbells” by Philippe Halsman
Here’s the hard truth: barring major health issues or a desire for plastic surgery, the body you want is the body you’ve got. When we make choices that affect the way we look – which foods to eat, how long to work out for, whether we really need a beer at 10PM on a Thursday – we are committing to a certain health standard, a certain body type. In my opinion, that’s a good thing, as long as we’re honest about it.
When people ask why I work out, I tell them it’s because I want to be healthy…and keep eating cake. The truth is a little more long-winded:
- I want to eat cake…and nachos. And burgers with bacon and avocado.
- I want my injured back to finally feel better, because the muscles surrounding it are strong and flexible.
- I want to go out for drinks and not worry about whether I ate enough to keep from getting smashed, or how many calories are in that liqueur I can’t pronounce.
- I want to then hike into the mountains without slowing up my friends, and hike back down without shin splints.
I realized that what I want has little to do with that “perfect weight,” or what my body fat percentage is, or how my clothes fit. (Admittedly, as a fashion blogger, that last one is a little important.) It has a lot more to do with what I see as “quality of life.”
Up until recently, I’d unwittingly decided that the body I wanted was one that forced me to restrict the foods I liked and avoid most physical activities – even the fun ones. And you know what? I chose that body. I choose to avoid strenuous activity and delicious foods, because I didn’t want to make the time to work out.
Now, I want a body that can go up two flights of stairs without feeling a burn; one that feels strong and capable, whether working outside or, ahem, in the bedroom. I want that body more than I want the extra three hours per week that I’m missing by working out.
And the 120-pound physique? I want that too, but not more than I want cake and nachos and nights out with friends. If I can have both, great, but if I have to choose, I’ll pick food, fun and nightlife every time.
What are you willing to sacrifice for a more “fashion-friendly” body…and what would you never consider giving up?
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Cheers!…
To be honest? I wouldn’t sacrifice anything for a more fashion-friendly body. I could never give up the delicious food I eat. Also, I LOVE moving my body, so it’s not a chore… it’s something I’m passionate about! Yeyyy running for charity!
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Jennifer Nicole Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Sui: The more I work out, the more I find a release in it. Last night I was stressed out, and realized that the feeling made me want to work out more, to relieve that tension. The time I spent doing cardio flew by!
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Posted by sui | August 4, 2010, 4:34 pmRT @TheDemoiselles: The Body You Want is the Body You've Got http://bit.ly/9ZOUeH
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Posted by Jennifer Nicole | August 4, 2010, 9:02 pmHonestly, there’s a lot I would give up, and already have. I don’t eat white flour or added oils or dessert except on special occasions — but honestly, I don’t really miss those things. I gave them up for my physique and my health in the long run in equal measure. And I feel a lot happier when my clothes fit well.
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Posted by Erika @ Health and Happiness in LA | August 4, 2010, 9:52 pmJen, I’m wondering — you mention in a comment above about feeling a sense of release when you work out. Do you believe this sense of release is something you get from sticking to it for a while? Did you feel it immediately? Do you think that for some people it just won’t ever feel like anything but a chore? I’m curious about how much of it is purely science (exercise releasing endorphins) and how much of it is a mental thing, like using various methods to cope with stress.
DO MY RAMBLES MAKE SENSE?
I’ve tried so many times to start an exercise routine, and no matter how many times I start, I can’t seem to feel good about it, as much as I want to. I might not be trying hard enough.
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Posted by Brianna | August 5, 2010, 6:08 pmTo hell with a fashion-friendly body.
I want a body that is strong and has enough mass that I don’t have to ask for help to move a sofa.
I have shoulders like a line-backer, and a 15 inch difference between my waist and hips. There is no force on earth that could give me a fashion-friendly body, because my bone structure and genetics are all wrong for that.
I would, however, happily sacrifice the careers (and sanity, and just about anything short of the lives) of any number of fashion designers to be able to obtain body-friendly fashion.
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m Reply:
October 30th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
I would, however, happily sacrifice the careers..of any number of fashion designers to be able to obtain body-friendly fashion.
Well said.
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Posted by stormy | August 5, 2010, 9:19 pmI would not give up a meal with good firends. The kind that take hours because you never run out of things to talk about. I also would not give up any meal in Italy
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Posted by Val | August 8, 2010, 2:25 pmSome time ago I decided I wouldn’t give up anything. I just added more exercise to my life and it works out great. The most important thing is to pick an activity you actually like. Me I like being in nature, so I go for a run in the woods each morning. Gives me so much energy for the day too!
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Posted by Alyssa @ Femita | August 12, 2010, 3:42 amI have to pay some mind with respect to food intake with having type 2 diabetes, though I try not to give up a whole lot. I prefer to exercise to stay in control, not limit carbs to insanely low levels. Why? I consider myself an “early intervention” as far as an eating disorder in my early teens, something that may or may not have contributed to the messed up metabolism that led to the type 2 diabetes.
(But I was a young diagnosis, and I know focusing on exercise doesn’t work for everybody with type 2 diabetes – it didn’t for me when I dealt with a long illness with two surgeries involved.)
I like how exercise helps me on so many levels – not just the blood sugar but the anxiety and depression, too. No matter what I’m eating.
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Posted by Rachel | August 15, 2010, 7:38 amHmm I don’t like thinking of maintaining a healthy body in terms of “giving up” things. I’m not big on working out, but I love salsa dancing and yoga; it helps me de-stress and lets me do something physical. I eat what I want, which works for me because I usually crave balanced meals with a mix of protein and veggies and lots of water. If I worry about about the calories or sugar in a food, I won’t eat it. It’s better to enjoy what you’re eating than to feel guilty about it afterward!
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Posted by lisa | August 16, 2010, 2:21 pmHmmm…I am willing to give up eating unmindfully and willy-nilly (at least most days out of the year). I do count calories but I don’t really restrict food, I just try to keep a balance between input and output.
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Posted by Cynthia | August 16, 2010, 8:45 pmI ride my bike to work everyday and hit the gym 2-3 times a week. That said I’ve been bad about working out since it is so hot here in New Orleans. To ensure I don’t gain the weight back that I worked so hard to lose I really watch my calories and limit my portions. To me it is less about fashion (I know my style limitations)and more about feeling good. When you feel good, you look good and I’m a firm believer that confidence is key.
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Posted by Christy | August 17, 2010, 9:50 amThe thing I want to know is, What is the definition of a “fashion friendly” body? I mean, I’m fifteen, five foot ten (almost) and a Canadian size eleven/thirteen. Extra Large in most shirts. I am far from happy with that, and I’m trying to change that. All I want to is be able to go into a changeroom and have pants go past my thighs.
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Lindsay Reply:
August 22nd, 2010 at 2:21 am
Boy, I feel your pain, girl! When I was 15, I was exactly that size and shopping was a nightmare. If I’d only known that I’d had a -woman’s- body at that age, and stopped trying to squeeze into clothes that were made for a completely different body type… High school would have been a lot different!
I suggest you give size 14 in women’s a try. I know size 12 and size 14 sounds scary, but if it bugs you that much, cut the tags out! No shame in that. I swear, having luscious thighs is a gift – embrace it! Women’s sizes will love your legs.
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Posted by alli | August 17, 2010, 11:02 pmI just want a body in which I can feel comfortable, and wear the clothes I want to wear. Right now I feel like I might be a little more filled out than some of the tiny girls you see blogging, but I feel great in the clothes I wear, so I’m happy with that. I used to weigh 30 lbs heavier, and I couldn’t wear the types of clothes I wanted to wear because they just wouldn’t fit, or they looked weird. I felt I had to cover certain areas. Now, I feel comfortable in pretty much everything I wear, even shorts! Because I put in the effort to work out regularly, and go on a healthy diet that helped me lose weight slowly. I did this so I could feel comfortable in my own skin, and I’m so happy with what I’ve accomplished. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with working out and eating right for vanity, but I also think it’s important to keep your own health in mind when doing so.
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Posted by Meg | August 18, 2010, 11:20 pmGreat perspective! (I want cake and nachos too) "The Body You Want is the Body You’ve Got" http://bit.ly/dceDcJ
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Posted by Fia Kilbourn | August 19, 2010, 7:10 amI have come to terms with my “normal” weight after a lot of struggling. When I gain more than a pound I try to lose it so that my clothes fit well again. I have learned to buy flattering clothing that give me confidence so that I don’t have to go to the gym and lose another 5-10 pounds.
I think your trainer does have a point, when I lose sight of what my ‘comfortable weight’ is I tend to gain weight. Instead if I tell myself that 120 is my ideal weight, and I give myself a few pounds leeway, then when I get to 124 I know it’s time for a diet.
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Posted by JESSU | August 26, 2010, 3:38 amWow this was a great post, I agree that if you want it bad enough, you’ll make the sacrifices! Well done!
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Posted by Meli | November 22, 2011, 8:24 pm