The Preventative Fear

We all have it. The Preventative Fear, or the feeling you get when you see a new trend arise, look at yourself in the mirror, and say “Oh, well… It’s cute, but I… I could never wear it… Not with these [insert body part here]s!”

For me, it’s been strapless dresses, short shorts (well, shorts of any kind, really), high-waisted pants, and a vast collection of other styles.

What is it that makes us put that instant STOP before these trends and cuts? I’ve always thought that product models have a lot to do with it. You see their lithe, slinky bodies all catalogue-posed out in your dream garments and think, “I look nothing like that perfectly-shaped-for-this-garment girl”, and therefore never consider trying it.

Photo by sprewell

Maybe you’ve even taken it a step further and pictured it on your body before saying no. This method of expulsion would seem to be a little more reliable, but tell me honestly… Have you ever pictured something on your body, disliked the way it “looked”, and then tried on the garment anyway? [Listens for resounding "no"s.] Okay, well, if you have… How did it look? Exactly the way that it looked in your head?

Another cause of this knee-jerk reaction, I believe, can be attributed to our very natural awareness of other people’s perceptions. You can listen to all the “super self-confidence” preachers say “Don’t worry about it! Dress for yourself! Other people’s opinions don’t matter, ever! Ever! JUST IGNORE IT.” to which I say this: Get real! It’s natural to be concerned about how you’re perceived. When building your personality (from birth), you develop a natural self-concept that creates awareness around things like your hobbies, personality attributes, and your physical features. Don’t ignore it – embrace it. When you’re unsure of yourself, you loosen your grasp on your own self-concept and allow [potential] outside perceptions to influence you.

Now, I’m not silly (well, not in this paragraph). I know that reading this blurb about self-concept won’t flip your life around and allow you to go a-prancing in panties and a feather boa, but it’s important to acknowledge that your brain isn’t broken if you’re concerned about other people’s perceptions.

As for the style hurdles… Even if you accept your self-concept and want to venture out into the “I like it, but other people may laugh” world, it’s an equally large hurdle to actually wear the things you like… Y’know, in public.

The way I get over that feeling (which never goes away, in my opinion) is… silly. It’s silly, and it’s fun, and I love it.

Dressing Room Mirror Photos.

I’m not even kidding. If I see something on the rack at a store that grabs my eye… But then also gives me that twinge of “Oh my gosh, could I wear it outside?”, I grab it in my size, and head to the dressing room. The idea that I can take photos of myself (also good for seeing how you photograph in the garment) and be silly (enough to make my friends laugh) gives me just enough “ulterior motive” to get myself into the clothes.

Here are some of my shots:

A pink, polka dot dress with a bright peach colored trench? Yeah, right! I found out that the dress (as not-my-style as it seemed) fit me perfectly and is just generally really gorgeous! Bought it. Loved the trench, too – but left it there. Regret ensued.

Billow-y sack dress in a graphic print… Not good, but I now know that I need a bold, black and white graphic print dress! NEED! Just one with more structure.

An aubergine, a-line, ruffle-collared, slightly metallic jacket/trench? I thought it’d make a good “silly photo”… I didn’t expect to fall in LOVE with the fit and the color once I hit the dressing room.

And lastly, a maxi dress. It’s been a summer favorite for over a year now… But I’ve never owned one! My boobs keep me out of the strappy ones, but this one (besides being a little too mature for me) just didn’t strike my fancy. I know now to look for an empire waist dress with EXTRA length!

So there you have it! My tip for being you-centric while testing out trends.

What trends do you love, but are afraid to try?

I know you have them – speak up! Here’s what Twitter said: